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Wednesday, February 27, 2013

PurpleSaurus Rex

As apex predators in a limited ecosystem, PurpleSaurus Rex is always looking into new potential food sources. You can imagine our delight when we saw the Awful Waffles on the schedule, that sounds delicious! What makes it Awful though? Is that like a sauce? Not all of you actually watched Salute Your Shorts growing up, probably because me and and the Waffles are old balls and want you to get off our lawn, so let's turn to our old friend Urban Dictionary to lay out exactly what an Awful Waffle is:


awful waffle

The procedure for administering an awful waffle is as follows: 

1. Pin somebody to the top of a table. 
2. Pull their shirt up. 
3. Firmly press a tennis racket into their stomach. 
4. Pour syrup on their stomach. 

Are you kidding me? That's even better! The tender flesh of the belly is the most delicious part of the whole meal (unless you count the pure joy of nibbling the flesh off of our victims faces after tearing their heads off.), and now we get to enjoy it with maple syrup and built-in floss to make sure that the bits of fleshy gore don't get stuck in our teeth? Jackpot!

This game is going to involve a copious amount of PurpleSaurus Punch, a lot of yelling at each other, VERY little bunting, and this challenge:

Carrie B, I propose that the losing captain in this matchup submit to an ACTUAL awful waffle to be administered on home base immediately following the conclusion of the game. I'll bring the tennis racket, you bring the syrup, everyone else just bring video recording equipment and get ready to chant and watch a really bizarre hazing ritual.