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Thursday, May 26, 2016

Pitche$ B Trippin'

So apparently we haven't even started playing yet and folks are already beefin'.

Here's the deal: the Freeballers core of players are from the circa 2013-2015 era Pitches be Trippin', and apparently we're encroaching on their IP and sullying the good name of their former team.

Our response: SUCK IT.

Pitches be Tripping is literally the 2nd most common team name in the country after Balls Deep. It's like getting pissed because someone named their kid John when you named your kid John first. So yeah! Circle that game on the schedule. After we win, we can show you how to celebrate a victory without tearing your 2nd baseman's ACL.


Sorry if thats a sore subject Michelle. Get it? Sore subject? Because your knee is sore from when Scott jumped on your back and tore your ACL? Too soon?

Love,
Stephen

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Dear [Name Redacted],

Please accept our sincere apologies for repeatedly telling you to eat shit.  We were only joking and not actually wanting you to eat shit.  It was a humorous mantra that we all shit eatingly got hooked on and was essentially meaningless.  Perhaps we are the shit eaters.  But do not label us as shit eatey eaters of shit.  Sure, we have eaten our fair share of shit in the shitty past, but we admittedly shat the bed.  “Eat shit!,” we would say, not knowing the shit eating consequences.  Sometimes we ourselves were wanting to shit eat, but we were projecting that shitty desire to hide our true shit eatingness.  We hope you take the time to unwrap your mouth from whatever non-shit item it contains and give us another shit eatterly chance.

Sincerely,
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