Welcome to the Ghost Man on Third blog, the Worldwide Leader in Austin WAKA Kickball & Social Sports. Posts are player-generated, please email waka.gmot@gmail.com to contribute.

Thursday, May 28, 2015

PurpleSaurus Rex - TX Live

Over the last few weeks we've noticed that our current PurpleSaurus Rex forms are not optimally adapted to the new realities of our environment, and we've had no choice but to evolve. Stubby little arms have become elongated and flattened, our necks extending to help us reach new food sources. For such time until we no longer live in an underwater aquatic nightmarescape, we shall be known as Plesiopurple Rex.

Fear us, humans, for the weather will not stop us from devouring you, only pickle your delicious flesh as you soak in the torrential rains.

It would really be nice to play kickball this season. EL NINO!!! [shakes flipper at the sky]


Alcaballics - TX Live

Hey guys... Are we ever going to play kickball?  LIKE EVER?

Not ONLY was the week rained out, we were unable to play possibly the most sloppy game of all time against our sister team, Large Hardon Collider!  Both awesome teams did show up to the Park and keep it real in our very own theme night, "Merica."  The anticipation for this make up game will be killing us for a life time, or at least until the end of June when it hopefully stops raining to make up the game.

Well since Mother Nature is never going to let us actually play the phenomenal game of kickball... the only thing that we have to hold on to is the Life of the Party competition which we *gracefully* won the previous week and accepted our belt.  

There may or may not have been some late night drunk food consumed after this picture was taken
It looks like there is a close and epic battle between PurpleSaurus, the Hardons, Kickin' the Punt and of course, US.   What's up other teams?  You too cool to go to the Park when its a rainout?  Step your shit up!  Because we are downing enough $4 WAKA shots and fried pickles for the whole league.  We won't even recognize you when you are trying to hit on us fine Alcaballics at the Stoplight party on Saturday... and that would just be sad for you.

Til next week, keep rollin' with the homies.

Kickin the Punt - TX Live

Another week, another rained out game. Total bummer. Regardless, Kickin the Punt showed strong at the bar with our own theme of Nerds! With just five lovely ladies all dorked out we ROCKED the flip cup bar game to take home the winning spot. Go us! It’s gotta be something about that pink…. But we got our #wakabelt back and will take every care of it in every way that it deserves.

We are definitely enjoying the mix-and –mingle feel that teams are starting to have at the bar. Less cliques and more meeting we say.

This nasty weather has us all down for sure and now that we don’t have any rain dates left in the season, we CANT miss any more games. This sun, sun, sunny day today needs to continue friends! Break out the drums, do your dance, whatever it takes cuz we gotta PLAY already.

On a funner note…who’s up for from brunch at Bangers on June 14? Find us for details or just come for food and manmosas and stay for visits to other bars along the road.

Kicks and balls, Evelyn

Large Hardon Collider - TX Live

Wow, nothing like being too drunk to realize the severity of severe weather. Sobering up and seeing all of the pictures and video from this weekend was quite…sobering to say the least. I hope all of you and your families were able to stay safe and dry throughout the long weekend. Also a quick post-Memorial Day shout-out to our buds who paid the ultimate sacrifice on the front lines and at home defending this great country. We love and miss you.

That being said, we’re tired of getting rained out. These recent hydrologic anomalies are seriously dislodging our competitive underpinnings. We’re developing a rapidly increasing distaste for the stuff that can only be explained through the majesty that are Adam Sandler films.

I mean, it’s getting so bad we’re starting to think W.C. Fields was on to something.

If we were fish we would only fuck in ornate tubs of bottled Fiji water. ‘Cuz we classy.

Despite being robbed of our almost certain victories the last few weeks, we continue to nip at the heels of first place Life of the Party. THE BELT WILL BE OURS. We don’t know what fruit dangle is, but it sounds right up our alley. We actually recruited our players for their fruiting skills as well and their dangling abilities. It should be easy enough to put those together, so enjoy our belt while you still got it PUNTs!

Tuesday, May 19, 2015

PurpleSaurus Rex - TX Live

Rain may force the postponement of kickball games, but it does nothing to stymie the hot, hot, forceful, thrusting juggernaut that is PurpleSaurus Rex. The humidity just makes us steamier really. Thanks to the unsurprisingly in-sync tandem of dino mates Ninad and Sarah in the human backboard competition, Purple remains relevant in the only competition that really matters: the Life of the Party. Unfortunately Kickin the Punt failed to bring the Party Belt with them and we didn't get to take sexy pictures with it this week after posting a week 1 lead, but we'll forgive them because they're awesome and potentially willing to engage in some PUNT with us.

Having a theme night rained out is just the worst, so we're busting out the trustiest of trusty favorites: the THREE Ts. Tutus. Tights. Tiaras. On their own, each of these items bestows incredible grace and power on the wearing, imbuing them with preternatural powers of partying and engaging is flamboyant mating rituals. When all three are combined, the raw animal magnetism of the host results in an almost unfair level of sexual attraction from everyone around them, regardless of gender or really even species. You may be humans, and we may be dinosaurs, but don't think we're not "genetically compatible" or something.

The current storm systems ravaging the land appear to be the result of an unprecedented El Nino phenomenon, the likes of which have never been recorded before. As dinosaurs, we're pretty sensitive about the possibility of potentially extinction-level global weather events, so we're going to play it safe and party for the rest of the season like the end times are upon us. Just in case. We're on field #2 this week from 6:30 - 9 PM, there will be 5 gallons of PurpleSaurus Punch to consume and we're happy to share the liquid wealth with others. The fee for a cup is one dance move. Show us what you got.

Stephen & PurpleSaurus Rex

Large Hardon Collider - TX Live

Our game last week was an exciting one. There was a brief window of hope for Recess Rockstars right before the game started, but it was quickly washed away in a turbulent, high-Reynolds flow of horrific three-dimensional vortices. We almost felt bad for doling out such a graphic, gratuitous, grand slam of greatness, but oftentimes a team finds itself having to reflect on….oh wait, shit. Last week was a rainout.

In a true showing of Hardon Collision, we instead decided to don our insanely amazing neon fanny packs and get drunk with our new favorite team: Alcaballics. A solid pregame led us to our second home at The Park, where we partied so hard, and looked so beautiful, that they made us their official mascots.

Something very similar to this happened.
Seriously though. They shared our #austinwaka picture set, which I’m sure we’ll see some royalties on in the near future.
Ohhh yeah. That money should start flowing aaaaannyyyytime now…

I digress. Eventually whisperings began to float around The Park like restless party ghosts. These whisperings were of course what every kickballer yearns to hear, but dares not speak aloud: Ego’s. Yes, there were some Ego’s virgins in the crowd that night. Obviously this is no longer the case. Obviously things got weird. As they were meant to.

This week we are matched up against Alcaballics, which could end up being the blackout game of the century. The top two party teams in the league pitted against each other in singular destruction of their livers.

I’ll also let you in on a little secret, dear readers. Our team theme this week will be “‘Murica” and we’ll be sporting our national pride loud and proud. Feel free to join us in this endeavor and also come sexually harass us at the bar afterwards. We ARE famous there, after all.

Kick In the PUNT - TX Live

Ok ballers, There is a serious talk that we need to have. As we are going into week three and quickly approaching the Mid-Season Stoplight party there is something very important we need to address, Predominately Unexpected Naked Time-Easily Regretted. Better known as PUNTER. Many of our fellow kickballers have fallen victim to PUNTER but very few come forth openly. PUNTER is a silent predator that rips apart friends and sometimes entire teams, usually before those affected even know what hit them.

It usually starts with one baller, in most cases unattached, this baller finds themselves very attracted to another baller. This second baller can be on the same team or on a different one. The PUNTER doesn’t see team color, just his/her prey. The PUNTER feeds on alcohol consumption which gives it courage to manifest into full blown thoughts of PUNT. The baller is consumed with PUNT. How to get PUNT, how to be PUNT, how to eat PUNT. PUNT, PUNT PUNT. There is no stopping this poor soul. Kickball buddies who have seen this PUNT take over the baller’s life had tried in the past to stop it, but to no avail. The PUNT always wins. It all happens so fast, a few drinks at the bar perhaps a round or two of flip cup and the PUNT has completely kicked in. If the first baller was lucky enough to infect the second baller with PUNT then they will ride off into the sunset together, or at least to the back alley behind the bar. 

Until now you are probably wondering why PUNT needs a warning. PUNT in itself can be a lovely thing, it is PUNTER that we need to worry about. PUNTER usually hits the next morning when you are trying to untangle cleats and tall socks from last night’s events and you realize that the baller from the orange team who is passed out next to you is not what you though they were. All of the magic from the PUNT is gone, and PUNTER has kicked in. You grab your shirt and forget the underwear that is somehow missing and quietly make your escape. You pray to the kickball gods that no one finds out, but in the end they ALL already know. 

Word spreads across the field and you become bitter. Your teammates often openly call you a PUNT when you are kicking and you are now having difficulty getting to first with any team. The upside is while you are contemplating if you will ever be able to get it up again, another baller has been infected with PUNT and the cycle will repeat, letting you off the hook. 

Just remember kids: play safe, wear protection, and go easy on your fellow ballers.

You never know when you might fall victim to a Kick In The PUNT.

Thursday, May 14, 2015

Welcome to the GMOT, and the Life of the Party

Hello TX Live-ers! I want to welcome you to a beautiful special happy place known as the Ghost Man on Third blog: a magical corner of the internet full of kickball, flip cup, bar games, smack talk, shaming, and the total amassed general tomfoolery that one can only find in a WAKA Kickball league.

Now, in years past, there have been many more contributing authors than just a few people sending in blurbs every week, and we AIM TO RETURN THIS BLOG TO ITS FORMER GLORY. If you haven't already heard about the Life of the Party competition, you need to catch up. Let me lay it out for you:

Each week, you play a kickball game. Ok cool, that makes sense, this is a kickball league. It does not end there! The Life of the Party is an ongoing competition that will take place throughout the season and will BELT a final champion after the regular season completes that will be forever known as the Party Champs of TX Live. There are a bunch of ways to play: dressing up on theme nights, posting pictures to our Facebook Group, playing the weekly Bar Games that are available at The Park on South Lamar each week, and finally SUBMITTING POSTS TO THIS BLOG! That's right, all you gotta do is send in an email to waka.gmot@gmail.com and it'll be posted right here with your team's name across it, and BOOM - 25 Social Points! Get yourself on the board.

It's a great place talk about how awesome your team is, talk smack to an upcoming opponent, share photoshopped illustrations of people in the league, or pretty much whatever you want! Only rules: no nude pics, and no hate speech. If your post is abusive it won't get posted and we're forwarding to your mother. Shame on you.

Points will be tallied 3 times a week: once on Wednesdays counting up all blog points, once on Thursdays recording bar games points, and again on Sundays recording points for pictures and challenges. May your pursuit of the belt lead you to the Party Promised Land!

TX Live Social Challenge #1 - Team Mascots!

As promised, this season will feature a few impromptu opportunities to earn bonus social points, and the first one starts now with the team mascot competition. A team mascot can be an inanimate object, an animatronic object, a re-animated object, or basically any kind of object. Alternatively, you can have a mascot costume that one of your teammates wears to games! The point is, get creative and have something that you parade around the fields representing your team. With any luck this will get competitive and people will start abducting other teams' mascots and posting ransom notes on the GMOT.

Dance moves will almost certainly earn you bonus points.

To enter the competition, post an album of your team's mascot to the Facebook Group and tag it #austinwaka and #mascot. Top three mascots will win social points: 150 pts, 100 pts, and 50 pts respectively. Contest ends in two weeks, so you've got a week to create and a week to take pictures of the mascot in action!

Pitches be Trippin' - TX Live

Hi, new and old friends! My name is Jessica, but you can all call me "Jazzy". With the new season underway, I wanted to introduce you all to people you will want to know. Do be shy, come say hi! I promise we don't bite....too hard;)

Jessica "Jazzy" Nicole Hanna
AOL Screen Name: Dancingjester09
N’SYNC or BSB? - N’SYNC! JT all the way!
My favorite unusual food combination is Mac & Cheese with Baked Bean Chilli served with Fried Fish!
T Swift or Beyonce? - Queen Bey! #Flawless

Andrea Jane Rehkopf

AOL name: Toocrazi4u
1) NSYNC or BSB?  Backstreet Boys: they got it going on.
2) Oddest item in your car right now? Cards against humanity and a dog bed.
3) Pick up line:  Did you sit in a pile of sugar? Because you got a sweet ass

Warren Charles Ogle
AOL Screen Name: ChunkyLover53
Favorite Superhero and briefly why: Batman; dude can barely see his billions of dollars through all the super models throwing themselves at him, and he still goes out there and puts his life on the line to clean up the city that killed his parents. That's some gangster shit.
Actor/Actress who should play you in your documentary: Morgan Freeman
 Favorite Pickup line: Corporate accounts payable, Nina Speaking. JUST a moment.

Megan Diane Truax
Megan Truax pic.jpg
 AOL Screenname (If you forget yours make up a fun one, or else I chose soccerguurrlllll89999999) MeganT285 (original, I know.)
Favorite superhero and briefly why Catwoman... awesome costume
Actor/Actress  who should play you in your documentary Reece Weatherspoon... I LOVE her. :)
What is your Dream date ehhh.. one that doesn't end in him stalking me.
What is your favorite pickup line We're not socks. But I think we'd make a great pair.

Kyle John Trzaskalski

AOL Screen Name: uvacavs4217 - I was misguided and liked UVA as a kid.  Kid's are so stupid.
Nsync.. really is this a question?  Everything Justin Timberlake touches is gold.
Taylor Swift.. Because Beyonce' doesnt get me like Tswift does, plus Beyonce said she would be at ACL last year and never came.  I mean that's the word on the street just ask Julie.
It would be the love story of our generation and would last forever.. or until Keira Knightley fell in love with me, she has an accent she wins. b)  I can't write a sad song about you (clearly I would be Taylor Swifts Kryptonite)
Washed between your toes? I dont think I ever have.
Dream Date? Drinks while playing with 20 puppies.
 Are you a pirate?  Because I want cho booty.

Peter William Graham
cover picture.png
AOL Screen Name: soonerboy14
Superhero? Batman, because he has no superpowers. It's something you can aspire to. Get rich and kick ass!!
T-swift or Beyonce? Beyonce. Break up songs probably cover more than 80% of Taylor Swift music. Beyonce is over here talking about putting a ring on it. I think Beyonce has healthier relationships (and she's hotter).
Pick up line? Let me push you to master and give you the D. (git push origin master \n git branch -D sexyBranch). It's a git joke I thought of on the spot once. I'm a software engineer…

Nathan Gabriel Goodman
Nathan Goodman Pic.jpg
AOL Screenname - Your_Moms_Ride_Home_86
   Oddest item you could find in your car right now - A red lightsaber hors' d' oeuvres pick. From Star Wars night at my last Round Rock Express game of course.
        My favorite unusual food combination is mac and cheese topped with applesauce.
        What is your Dream date - December 32 because it would make Christmas vacation another day longer.  (See what I did there?)

Stacey Teresa Cleveland
AOL screen name: Purtty1NpunK (I was young and awesome)
Favorite Superhero: The Flash. BAZINGA!
How often do you clean between your toes? I didn't know that was a thing. Obviously never. I'm still awesome though.
Favorite pickup line: My name may not be Luna, but I sure know how to Lovegood. (If this is over your head, we cannot be friends)

Amy Michelle Slotin
AOL Screenname - I think it was cowtipper625. (Yep I'm from SC)
Favorite superhero and briefly why - as a kid it was plastic man....now it would prob beee ummmm TMNT OR IRON MAN
Oddest item you could find in your car right now - hah I work with kids...there is a looonnnnggg list including bubblegum flavored gloves, go fish game, and lots of scratch lotto cards
My favorite unusual food combination is grilled cheese with ketchup and pickles

Michelle Desiree Bonnette
me.jpgAOL Screen Name: utchick128
Actor/Actress  who should play you in your documentary? Laura Prepon
 N’SYNC or BSB? Briefly why: neither, i have a decent taste for music ;)
Oddest item you could find in your car right now?  myself
How often do you clean between your toes? every damn day, cmon!

Julie Elizabeth Heier

AOL Screen name: Bubble108
Beyoncé or Taylor Swift: Wait, I am not Beyoncé? Unfortunately #iwokeuplikedis
Oddest thing in my car:  device called “mole zapp” my amazon prime should be revoked
What's your Favorite pick line? Are you a campfire? Cause you are hot and I want s'more.

Raymond Jay Prefume
AOL Screenname: Ohherropreeze
Favorite superhero and briefly why? Captain America... Merica!
Actor/Actress  who should play you in your documentary? Dwayne Johnson obviously
Taylor Swift or Beyoncé? Why? Ariel from Little mermaid... She's a babe
What is your favorite pickup line? Girl... The back of yo head is ridiculous!

Brandon Michael Brown
AOL Screen name: frrstgmp8
Actor/Actress who should play you in your documentary? Charlie Kelly from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (Actor's real name is Charlie Day) because apparently we sound a lot alike
How often do you clean between your toes? Everytime I shower...isn't that a normal thing to do?!?
Favorite superhero and briefly why? Captain Planet...because he's a hero and gonna take pollution down to zero (I'm not sure we can be friends if you honestly don't know who this is)

Scott Michael Murphy
AOL Screenname: Smurphy_smurf01

Christina *Joy* O’Donnell
AOL Screenname: don_chri_dogsrule

Justin *Randall* Jordan
AOL Screenname: redbearded_jj25

James Robert Clark
AOL Screenname: semaj_kralc00

Adam Michael Goodman
AOL Screenname: goody_boy90

Travis *Patrick* Sackett
AOL Screenname: T_bikeman_dude

Stephen *George* Stowe
AOL Screenname: stoweaway4123

Peace, love Jazzy!

Wednesday, May 13, 2015

Alcaballics - TX Live

Ahhhhhh yeeeeeahhhh.  What's that I hear?  Bell Biv Divoe and R. Kelly jams? Is that the sound of the Alcaballics back in the game?!

We took the winter season off to mentally recover from the unfortunate forfeit we undured during playoffs in the fall.  (Seriously, its a sore subject.  Don't ask as about it.)

But we are back and better than ever with a good core group of Alcaballics returning and a whole slew of awesome new (to us) blood!  We are ready to dance our asses off and hold up the Alcaballics' name of being generally the drunkest assholes out there who seem to be moderately athletic.

A move up into the more competitive Capital Conference didn't scare us right out of the gate... the Alcaballics overcame The Recess Rockstars in a 6-2 victory. This week we have a tough match up against Ram It Home, but we feel confident that we will be winning at least in the dance moves department. 

Speaking of dance moves... we plan on getting DOWN at the Park every week, so if you see us out there, come over and say "haaaay" and who knows, maybe our very own Becca Gutstadt will do some acro yoga with you, if you know what I mean... (And what I mean is that she is an actual acro yoga teacher who will teach you how to correctly stack your handstands.)

Until next week, as the poet of our generation Coolio, would say, keep rollin' with the homies.

Large Hardon Collider - TX Live

In possibly the wittiest, near speed-of-light impact of physics and dick jokes ever seen by the realms of man, I present to you Large Hardon Collider. Our story is as old as time itself. We trace our lineage back to the beginnings of the game when squares were becoming circles, circles where becoming spheres, and spheres were becoming kickballs.
We currently represent varying transitional parts of this image

We were there when John D. Rockefeller decided to come to Texas and dropkick a 300-lb slab of pink granite into outer space because he heard someone say that oil SHOULDN’T come in a 42 gal barrel, thus pioneering two important modern technologies: 1) Low Earth Orbit satellites, and 2) Kickball.
View from the first “Rockefeller Class” kickball

Don’t be intimidated, though, by our historical prowess and fleshy moniker. We’re here to do three things and three things only: 1) Drink more than Purplesaurus, 2) Be sexually irresistible to both sexes simultaneously, and 3) Participate in themes that are mostly offensive, but also give you a strange tingling sensation in some yet-to-be-explored part of your body.

So we’ll see you at the bar after your game. You can’t miss us because the whole team will be there! We’re the insanely attractive ones in the delightfully sexy, coral/salmon shirts.
Image 3:
No we’re not Kick in the Punt. THAT’S PINK, DAMNIT!

Come party with us, because if you don’t…we’ll find you!

Tuesday, May 12, 2015

Kickin' the Punt - TX Live

Serious amounts of love go out to my half new team on KICKIN THE PUNT!!!  PINK PINK PINK. Our boys now how to rock it, and the girls just look fine. Don’t be scared other teams…we know how to have fun and play like we mean it *beer burp*

What a showing the first week. And a fun game even if we lost. Whatever, shake it off. We did great regardless. And with the belt still in our possession, it went on several adventures. Let’s see who else can #wakabelt. 

Lots of appreciation goes out to the bar games though what’s up with the fail on The Park and the double booking? No matter, we had a late game so once we got there, everything was cleared out and we were ready to rock and roll.

Till next week...

Monday, May 11, 2015

Kickness Everdeen - TX Live

Hello TX Live.

We are Kickness Everdeen.  You may not have heard of us, but you've seen us before.  

Combining the powers of Fresh (TX Republic), Abominaballs (TX Live-Capital), Relax (TX Live-Capital) and other misc. badasses (WAKA Oklahoma, Austin soccer), we've created a coalition of sexiness that is not to be messed with.

While our first week was marred by tardiness, the remainder of the season will be a blur of white hot speed & grace.  Thanks to Large & In Charge for dealing with our tardiness in stride, and with class.  Y'all are a great squad with some top-notch leadership.  

We hope to shotgun beers with each & every team out there.  Until then, may the odds... you know the rest.  

Sunday, May 10, 2015

PurpleSaurus Rex - TX Live

The rumors are true, PurpleSaurus Rex is back. By guilting people into signing up for "one last season before the baby comes" I've assembled what may well be the greatest roster of all time. Reading through the lineup is like reading the tracklist of your favorite bands greatest hits album: all the best songs you remember and a few more awesome originals to remind everyone that they've STILL GOT IT.

We cam out hard week 1 rocking the undies on the outside theme, blew through 5 gallons on Purple Drank, and played an absolutely flawless game that we somehow lost 3-2. I'm told there was a home run or something, but I probably missed it during that inning where that drank went right through me and I had to do the unthinkable: take a shit in the Gillis bathrooms in the middle of the game. It was pretty horrible. Y'all learn from my errors and keep TP in the car, you never know what's gonna happen out there.

One stellar play stood out as Katherine earned the game dinosaur with a sick grab out in right field, but I think most of the highlights were from the other team so we won't talk about that. We bounced back hard at the bar, took 3rd place points in the bar game, and appear to have a week 1 lead in the Life of the Party standings, and that's BEFORE costume points! Next week we shall be tight, we shall be bright, and we'll probably also be rocking the sweet custom tutus we made at Hayley's place today, because having a brunch and tutu making party is a totally normal team activity.

Just in case you want to look as good as us, I'll include a tutu making tutorial from our very own Hayley Fojtik, or should I say a Tu-tutorial? MMM?