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Tuesday, October 29, 2013

Snappin Da Base - TX Republic

Last week we had the chance to square up against E=MC Hammer. A team of fellow education software nerds after our own hearts. It was a bit like going up against our brothers…or cousins…or whatever…the point is, it made the game great.

There were times when we were on our game…

And times when we were…not so much…

But regardless of the final score, E=MC Hammer brought their A-game (and some pretty awesome kicks) to the field last week, and they pretty much kept us on our toes the entire time.  In some cases, literally.

We’ve got a double-header next week! Ball Me Maybe is going to be coming at us with everything they’ve got and more, and Hanna Montana, the only other undefeated team in the league, will be looking to take the #1 spot crown.

To both teams, we say……game on!

Win or lose, it’s going to be epic.

Ten Dollar Tijuana Dunder Show - TX Live

$10 Tijuana Dunder Show
After a week of much needed rain, kickball was back in action bringing everybody’s favorite “veteran” team back to Gillis for another round of awesome.
This week’s showdown:  Dunder versus Peanut Butter & Leo.  It was explained to me last season that Leo is a dog – you do the math.  Anyways, we rolled to an early 3-0 lead at the top of the first only to forget how to play defense and gave 3 runs of our own in the bottom of the inning to leave us tied at 3 all.  After that, it was a defensive battle … somewhere along the way they scored another run taking a 4-3 advantage into the top of the fifth.
Last at bats:  the bottom of the Dunder lineup was coming up to kick and they delivered when we needed it most.  Eddie gets on base with a good solid kick to CF, Mendoza bunt him over to 2nd while also getting on base himself and then Jen (the new girl we got as a free agent) lays down the perfect sacrifice bunt to the first base side … she’s out but she’s moved Eddie to third and Mendoza to second with only 1 out.  Then up comes big, bad Tim “The Anvil” Barnhart – who kicks a B-E-A-utiful line drive to CF which isn’t caught – Eddie hustles home from third to tie the game … Mendoza comes rounding third and turns on the jets to home to give Dunder a 5-4 lead.  We could have used another insurance run but couldn’t manage to get anything else.
Bottom of the fifth … they got some base runners on but we tightened up the defense to put them away without giving them a real chance to tie it up.
Overall, a great game, fun was had by all … and there was much rejoicing.  I think this victory could be attributed to pre-gaming at G&S Lounge and to celebrate, we post gamed at G&S.

CANDY VAN - TX Republic

We played Chicks Dig The Long Ball last week and, as promised, they made some crazy-ass plays in the field.  Hats off to them for a good game - this is one where the final score was not indicative of the actual game.  They're an excellent team, and if the game would have been 2-3 innings longer, I'm pretty sure we would have been looking at a 1-point game or tie.  Plus they have about 400 team members, so it looked like Time Square on NYE on their sideline.  Talk about intimidation.

Then the mid-season party.  Oh my.  No words can really describe this, so I'll let it speak for itself:

Here's to more weirdness from here on out.  Looking forward to the double-headers!

Hannah Montana XXX Tape - TX Republic

Oh Em Gee, you guys, Hannah had a freaking blast last week. 

It's my first season here with Hannah, and after the third game, I pulled the short straw for writing the blogs, but I promise you, faithful readers, that I will deliver GIFs that will melt your face off.

Big shout out to Don't Stop Believing, the best team to play catcher for all season, in my opinion. Aside from the bumping music, there was this one kicker who, I swear, had magic feet: 

gif,fat guy,dance dance revolution,twinkle toes

And then I had my buddy Kevin getting on base like a BOSS--we know each other from NKL (shh!!! Don't tell, we're reformed) 

We started the game in a close heat, and then, I'm not sure what happened, but Hannah pulled out in the lead. What I love about Don't Stop Believing is that they were generous: I mean, free long-island iced tea kind of generous... unfortunately none of us had cups and couldn't share in the fun.. and I felt all...

In the end, Hannah may have walked away with the win, but I felt like both teams were in high spirits. And remember, Don't Stop Believing, when people have got you down...

animated, Keith, apicary, stairs, fuck, shit, he, haters, gonna, hate, ow, pain

Looking forward to this Wednesday's double header! I can't contain my excitement, really:

See you guys out there!



Friday, October 25, 2013

50 Shades of Sexy Hats - TX Republic

We're back and more sexy than ever! We've been doing a theme night each week and I couldn't be more proud of how awesome and fun our team is! This week was 50 Shades of Sexy Hats and we played the best game we've ever played! I think we owe our first real kickball win to how sexy we were looking! Hats off to Lusto (literally) who slid into home and was pegged in the head. The sexy hat survived but also suffered a sexy kickball dent.

Lookin' good Lusto! 

We also stormed the bar per the usual and shut down Ego's like REAL champions! Looking forward to winning at the free bar tab this weekend!

Yours in weekly sexy costumes,
50 Shades of Greatness

Thursday, October 24, 2013

Pitches be Trippin - TX Live

Top five Countdown from the Pitches GroupME!

#5: The random three legged dog

#4: I like (foot)balls

#3: The Jewish Fetish

#2: sneakers required, pants optional

#1: We are Trippin’

Love my Pitches


Wednesday, October 23, 2013

CANDY VAN - TX Republic

It feels like it's been forever since we've hit the fields at Gillis.  Luckily, tonight that will be remedied.

Not much to say this week - we were supposed to play Hannah last week, and I think of the last 6 times we've been scheduled to play them, we've actually played them about 2 times.  Rain-outs, forfeits, different leagues... always something!  We'll eventually play a real game, and it will be real(ly) awesome.

In the meantime, winter is coming on fast, so we're going to take full advantage of what little "warm" weather we have left this season.  I don't want to give anything away, but here's a hint:

See you at the fields, Howdy-doodads.

Wednesday, October 16, 2013

PurpleSaurus Rex - TX Live

A week off from the GMOT for PurpleSaurus? HELL HAS FROZEN OVER. Or, more accurately, WAKAPalooza happened. The WAKA Austin brass (by which I mean myself, Lundy, and Tom) were all absentee last week as we threw ourselves deep into 8 days and 7 nights of Vegas-style magic and mayhem, leading to a distinct lack of blogging on my part. Fortunately, my team still brought it without Purple Papa around, and pulled out a 3-2 win over I'm Kick James, Pitch highlighted by our squaws launching a successful raid to the opposing sideline to kidnap James's captain. Prost!

So around Saturday night I started getting texts about the rain, and apparently it just STILL hasn't decided to stop. The fields were too wet to play on last night, it's raining again more today, and the outlook is not good for us taking the field Thursday. Fortunately, PurpleSaurus knows exactly what to do with a rain-out. Spoiler alert: it's drink! We'll be at Gibson wearing purple and celebrating our good friend Ryan Logue's 30th birthday! He may not be Purple himself, but I'm pretty sure he's hooked up with at least one of us which definitely makes him an honorary Rex.

Tuesday, October 15, 2013

Snappin Da Base - TX Republic

Week 3 came and went with another great game and another awesome win.

We went up against People Pay to Sleep With Us, and as predicted these guys may be the best 0-3 team out there. It was through strategic (see: risky) runs and sweet (see: lucky) fielding, that we pulled in the win. Last game, it was the other team that had us nervous. This time…we mostly did it to ourselves.

We give credit where credit is due. PPTSWU was running some pretty good defense. Most of our runs came from the first few innings. After that, it was us fighting to keep PPTSWU from a potentially rank-destroying comeback win. But our lucky streak continues and we managed to hold them 8-2.

On Wednesday we go up against Ball Me Maybe. We’ve heard the rumors; we’ve watched the games. It’s going to be a battle royale between our two teams and only one of us can emerge undefeated…
…..Unless, of course, we happen to tie.

Pitches be Trippin - TX Live


PurpleSaurus Rex, you are the only team as bad as we are (or maybe not this season), so this pretty much is THE SACKO BOWL of Texas Live. 

What is the common denominator for our team?!?!?!  Kimberly Fortanely !!!  Most of the time, I have a hard time figuring out who she actually plays for.  Pretty sure you guys are providing her too much of that roofied Purple Punch.

Personally, I have attempted to hook up with every male on PurpleSaurus Rex (unsuccessfully I might add), if there are new players male players I hope we can also have our first and last conversation at Gibson tonight <3

To get ready for the game Rob Cozby made us some of his manly BBQ.  I am not sure quite what happened at the end of our pump-up dinner, but it ended like this

 Despite being defeated, we aren’t scared about Thursday’s matchup, especially considering our contenders.

Also, we hope to see everyone ready to rage on Saturday night.  Pitches Be Trippin will be there promptly at 8:59pm.  Please come say hi before 9:30pm, because we plan to have no memory of the night after then.

$10 Tijuana Dunder Show

Last Thursday night, an instant classic of a kickball game occurred.  Now maybe you were getting your pre-ACL fest on, or you were on your way to Vegas for the Founder’s Cup, or maybe you just didn’t realize greatness was before you …  doesn’t matter … it happened.

Dunder had just enough people to field a team and we figured we’d be okay.  We normally play better shorthanded and we were playing some kickball newbies.  We heard ‘Sit on my Base’ was an athletic, young bunch but we’re a veteran team so  even short-handed and long in the tooth, I figured we had a good shot.

Game started out as predicted … we ‘small balled’ them to take a 1-0 lead into the bottom of the first.  Then the wheels fell off … Dunder gave up 7 runs in the bottom of the first inning.  ‘Sit on my Base’ did a conga line around the bases;  line drives, dropped fly balls, miss placed throws and poor decision making.  Typical ‘Dunder’ inning – we could do nothing right.  So after 1 inning, we’re down 7-1 – game over right? Wrong.  It takes more than that to put us down for good and like unstoppable wave of undead monsters, Dunder kept coming.

Defensively, we tightened up the screws and didn’t let any more runs in the rest of the game.  Eddie had a sweet double play getting the running trying to score from second.  How close was it? Eddie thought the guy was safe and didn’t realize he got him until we were jogging off the field.

Offensively, we started to claw our way back into the game.  A couple runs in the third inning and another in the fourth.  Next thing you know, it’s the top of the fifth with Dunder down 7-4 and we’re into top of the lineup.  Rally time.  We scored a couple more runs to make it 7-6 … had the bases loaded but were sitting with two outs – a base hit ties it and maybe gives us the lead. And and and … pop out.  Dunder loses 7-6.  Dang, a heart breaking loss especially after battling back.

Hats off to ‘Sit on my Base’ – that was a great game.  It was a shit ton of fun as Ben would say.  Dunder will be looking for a re-match in the future knowing that it will be a good time.

PSA (public service announcement):

Great googgly mooggly what’s up with the shitty ass music some of you other teams are playing before / during / after your games?  I didn’t think Gillis was set up to be a freaking rave … and me without my glow sticks and high end designer drugs.  And too make it worse, y’all decide that you must out d-bag each other and turn it up even louder … pure shenanigans.  Knock it off you dang kids … and stay off my lawn.

Walk of Shame - TX Live

First win of the year in Game 3? What the f is going on here Walks? Still no losses though, so I guess that counts for something, right? 

How well do you know the Walks? Who dun it?
Got pegged in the shoulder area at home plate and was called safe. Then got upset cause he wanted to be called safe and thought he was out:
A) Andre
B) Jessica
C) Butler
Grabbed his hamstring 10 feet away from 1st after realizing he was gonna be thrown out:
A) Leeho
B) Slob
C) Jorge
Had 3 RBIs without ever getting on base:
A) Tanker
B) Tom
C) Will
Came to the game relatively sober for the first time ever:
A) Clay
B) Erin
C) Kerry
Thinks he's the greatest player in the league now because he caught a ball that was kicked at him:
A) Andre
B) Slob
C) Butler
Cheat sheet: C, A, B, A, A
How'd you do? 

We gave up a homer run for the first time in about 12 seasons, I repeat, what the f is going on here Walks? Luckily next game we'll just be facing Leslie & co. O/U on strikeouts is set at 2. I'm taking the over. You?

Wednesday, October 9, 2013

Chicks Dig The Long Ball - TX Republic

Last week's game had no alibi.  It was very much in fact U to the G-L-Y.  

We faced off against good ol' Hannah Montana XXX Tape.  The crew of wily vets that descended from their ivory TX-Live tower to toy with the lowly mortals of TX-Republic. 

I had to give my squad a pre-game disclaimer:  These guys have been playing together for a long time.  So don't expect a close game here.  Just have fun and remember that your sexy is sexier than their sexy.

Week 2's  BIG UPS go to:

1. Hanna Montana - For pulling their pitcher in the 3rd inning after racking up a 90000000-0 lead.  Thanks for taking your foot off the gas in your first game of the season.

2. Jenn - For playing through a migraine. I've never had one myself, but I doubt I could play 50 minutes with a hangover.  Let alone a migraine.

3. Woodham - In classic Woodham fashion, my man shows up 20 minutes late in the middle of the 3rd inning.  But he arrived ready to play and recorded back-to-back-to-back solo outs in the outfield.

4. ME - Making a weekly lineup for 26 people ain't easy!

5. My Awesome Team - For taking our but whoopin' in stride.  There's magic in all of you!

6.  LAST BUT NOT LEAST:  PRONSKY - Our boy Nicholas missed the game this week but he had a great excuse.  He was off in paradise proposing to his lovely girlfriend.  Unfortunately for me and Woodham, she said yes.  Make the most of your last season of kickball buddy.  Congratulations!

We have a bye this week.  But we'll (I'll) be at the fields and bar tonight.   It'd be foolish not to take advantage of cheap booze whenever possible.

Snappin Da Base - TX Republic

We’ve played two seasons already with WAKA, and have yet to delve into the mysteries that is GMOT. But we’re going to take a stab at this.

Our last two seasons were pretty…not good. OK, we kinda sucked. So coming out of the start of season 3 with two great victories makes us feel pretty good about ourselves. We don’t exactly know what we’re doing, but hopefully we’ll keeping doing it.

Don’t Stop Ballieving had us anxious most of the game. We had all kinds of play stopping catches, hardcore kicks, and strategic runs, and yet, DSB would NOT simply rollover. They had the bases almost constantly loaded and there was always the risk that at any second they might come back with a vengeance. I think we all aged about ten years that night. To someone on the outside looking in, you’d think that a 9-0 blowout game meant that DSB’s performance was lacking.

NOT TRUE. Point in fact we had to FIGHT for EVERY SINGLE ONE of those 9 points. WTF Don’t Stop Ballieving?! Make winning easier!! With your kicks launching balls into orbit and your rather impressive between-the-legs catches, the 9-0 final score kinda seems like someone tricked us into thinking we were good.
But still. A win is a win and we rocked it pretty hard.

Now we’re coming up against People Pay to Sleep With Us. We’ll give props on the name…but that’s going to be about all you get free from us. We might not pay to sleep with you (we’re poor anyways), but we did pay WAKA for the opportunity to turn our 2-0 record into an 3-0 record.

Ten Dollar Tijuana Dunder Show - TX Live

Dunder Show lost 3-0 to PurpleSaurus Rex.  Fun was had by all.

Wednesday, October 2, 2013

Walk of Shame - TX Live

Here's a recap of all the excitement from the Walks-That Kick Cray game:

And that was with an entire extra inning. 

We collectively bored both teams and both refs. Then we ended the thriller without a run scored. I think Slob did manage to score after a third out was made, but that was about as close as it came.

New season. New players. Same offense. Always the same offense. 

I heard Teabaggers want to join Walk of Shame. Request denied. They catch the Walks on a week with Andre Big Bounce Rodgers on the hill so they may have a chance, but I think another 0-0 tie is in order.

We must break you.

Chicks Dig The Long Ball - TX Republic

The Government may be shut down, but we're just gettin' started!

 It was a wild 50 minutes that ended in a 5-1 victory. There were diving catches, bang-bang plays at the bases and not to mention a few dance parties broke out.

The bar was PACKED but still a lot of fun. Maybe a little too much fun for some of you. You know who you are..... I hope all the newbies got all of the first game jitters out of the way. None of our ladies fell on their asses like they thought they would, so I'd say the night was a success!

My weekly BIG UPS go to:

  • Teddy - For basically being a 1-man defense and single handedly ringing up 3 consecutive outs in the 1st inning. Not to mention dragging his monster leg to the plate and booming a 2RBI hit. He's embracing the team moniker, and the ladies dig it. 
  • Reeder- Not to be outdone, Big Mike put together the rare unicorn of kickball plays - The SOLO TRIPLE PLAY in the 3rd. I've maybe seen this done 2 times before. So if you saw it, you're probably going to tell your children some day. 
  • EY (Lindsey) - For her 2 RBI kicks. They really helped cushion the lead when we needed it. She was one of the MANY ladies who was afraid they would whiff the kick and land on her ass. Instead she balled out 
  • Karthik - For the over the shoulder snag in the outfield. The other team went into desperation mode and their girls decided to muscle up and start bootin' 'em. But K-Rock went straight Gandolf and said "You Shall Not Pass!"
  • Heather & Mario (they're married so they get to share) - Not only did Heather STILL make it out the the game after her flight was delayed, these 2 ballers came to play kickball on their anniversary. That's team dedication!

PurpleSaurus Rex - TX Live

The debut of the latest incarnation of PurpleSaurus Rex was marked my a significant increase in punch consumption, leading to complete exhaustion of our reserves prior to the third inning. NOT TO BE DETERRED, the team promptly allowed a late game scoring binge, lost 6-1, and got our hineys over to the bar to get to work on another jug of punch, this one concocted by our good friends at Gibson.

Speaking of the bar, it's come to my attention that Dunder is just too cool for everyone else in the league and can't be bothered to rub shoulders with such proles. Instead, they deigned to go back to our old stomping grounds at G&S Lounge to drink in solitude, successfully avoiding any kind of social interaction with anyone not on Dunder. We've got a weiner alert here people!

Their excuse for these shenanigans? Apparently Gibson is "too far". Wait ... what?

Seriously, what are you talking about.

I investigated this particular claim, and my findings were nothing short of astounding. Through a complex process involving typing two addresses into Google maps, I deduced the following:

Current traffic is 8:30 AM rush hour.

Oh IM SORRY, did we inconvenience you by partnering with a bar that's FOUR FREAKING MINUTES FROM THE FIELD?

Well, there's only one thing to be done. We must brutally destroy Dunder on the kickball field and then offer to purchase them a round of fine beverages at our patron establishment to drown their sorrows in as they pick themselves up and wonder how in the world they allowed someone to score eleventy billion runs on them. Since Dunder's return to WAKA in Fall 2012, PurpleSaurus is 2-1-1 against them. Looks good on paper, but that lone Dunder win was a Fall 2012 playoff elimination, and we have not forgotten. Well, most of us have because I think there are like 2 people still on the team from that squad. But still! We'll see you on the field Dun-DUHHH!

You just got hit with a Mike Dexter reference.

Stephen & PurpleSaurus Rex