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Thursday, March 27, 2014

Pitches be Trippin - TX Live

So winning at kickball may not be going so well this season, and makes Friday mornings a little more difficult

But the Pitches know how to do party! The Spring Equinox was such a glittery fun time

And there we did WIN something... the photo hunt! YAYY *we may be photo whores*

Prize: $50 at Gibson... Eff. Yess.

I can't get enough of Thursday as it is, Kickabll, Best Friends, and now... free Dranks :)

We'll see y'all on the fields tonight and will probably take a selfie with you ;)

Relax and Let it Happen - TX Live

Unfortunately, our game is at 9PM this week. Unfortunately, we play PurpleSaurus Rex. Unfortunately, they are coming in hot as last place in the league. We’re not going to be mean about it, but we are going to absolutely destroy this team.  It’s going to feel horrible. Horrible for them to have every last ounce of pride stripped from their souls. And horrible for us to go home after, and fall asleep knowing we did that to those people. It will be all the more horrible, knowing that we did it with our 5th string team thrown out on the field. Knowing that with an all-girls infield, we still took them down without breaking a sweat. I’m not looking forward to Thursday night at all. But as humanitarian members of this league, we will take a deep breath, get out there and do what we need to do. We will put our personal feelings aside, and hand this ridiculous loss to PurpleSaurus Rex. We will do it knowing that every league needs a leader. And without us, Texas Live Spring 2014 would have none. We will play Thursday night for the good people of this league. We tip our hats to you all. Smooches.

Snappin' Da Base - TX Republic

Awwwwww yeah! Snappin’ da Base has pulled the game of the week!

And is it any surprise? Last season, Hannah handed us our only defeat of the regular season. Needless to say, we’re looking forward to redeeming ourselves and taking the win this time. Repeat of last season?! NEVER!

Hannah has only lost one other game, and that was to another strong team: SMK. So we know they’re good. But Snappin’ is planning to keep our place in the standings and we’re not giving up anything without a fight!

Get ready y’all…

it’s about to get epic.

Wednesday, March 26, 2014

TX Republic - Weekly update

TX Republic (Wednesdays) has a weekly video update on the league.  Here is the summary from last week & preview of this week:

Wednesday, March 19, 2014

Relax and Let it Happen - TX Live

According to Coach Jay, the Teabaggers will give us our first "tough" game of the season this week. Let’s put it this way – I’m not concerned. Who are the Teabaggers anyway? If I can’t remember you, you don’t actually exist.

In more exciting news, this will be the debut game for Mr. and Mrs. Dr. Shannon Russell. Jay will be sporting his post-Mexico sunburn splotches and Shan will be looking all wifey and shit. The more I think about it, the more I know in my heart that we should HH. We owe it to the Russell’s to celebrate them for the 8th time this month, and the Teabaggers annoy me. Let’s lube up at El Mercado around 6. If you're not sure if you're invited, you're not.

Smooches y’all.

Snappin' Da Base - TX Republic

Oh South By….not only do you disrupt the flow of traffic in Austin, but you also disrupt the flow of kickball season. Luckily SXSW always makes for an awesome time or this might be unacceptable. Regardless, we had alcohol-fueled shenanigans OFF the field last week, and now it’s time to get back to alcohol-fueled shenanigans ON the field this week.

Last game we faced off against PPTSWU 2.0 in a game that apparently was a lot closer than some people were expecting.  

Considering they played us after a double-header against Hannah Montana and we still had a close game, this is a team to watch.

Up next, we battle Pitches Be Crazy and will try to continue our winning streak against a team that has one win and looking for another. Be forewarned, we come armed with skills that are totally useless except for in kickball…

And maybe football.

Pitches be Trippin - TX Live

The story began a long time before you and I. But to save time (mainly my own), I'm going to begin in 2014. There are riots(and worse) in in Ukraine, Venezuela and Turkey. It's becoming more and more likely that aliens abducted a 777 Dreamliner full of people. The thursday night kickball league in Austin, Texas is as volatile as ever...It's POPPIN! Let's examine that further.
I'll go ahead and start with the most recent game. We played against an amazing team called Kicks Like Jesus, formerly known as the Health Alliance for Austin Musicians team (just kidding, there was no affiliation, and only one 'A'). This was a game that will be remembered for many seasons to come... It had it all; heroic plays, bewilderment, danger, and even suspense. 

The game began like any other: I was talking to someone, and then realized the first inning was about halfway through. I said to whomever I was talking to the same thing I say every game; "Oh shit, I didn't realize the game had started! Seems like this happens every game!"

I found a small un-mowed portion of grass at the base of the support cable for the power-line. I got the attention of one of the new players on the team and said "See this? This is what you want - you wanna stash your stuff in a tuft of grass like this. You can put anything in here - booze, condoms, cigarettes, grass, liqour, you name it."
He pondered it a second and then responded to the effect of "My beer's in my friend's backpack, but... I guess I could stash some cigs, cool if I share that spot?" Of course it was ok. That was the first time I had ever used a tuft of grass to stash things.
First 3-6 people go, maybe we scored, maybe we didn't. It's time for me to go in to my position at 1st. I focus in on the play. My mission is to not get distracted as the first ball it pitched, and get to the ball or base as fast as possible. My body is poised, strung up like a bow and arrow ready to be released and hurdle towards it's target at high speeds. 

There it goes...Huh? I didn't see what happened somehow. I asked the guy standing in as first base base coach for KLJ what happened.  He said "That guy over there caught it somehow. It was actually pretty amazing, haha."
There it goes...Bam, misfire. 

Second ball bounces and is caught by one of my teammates , and I stretch out diagonally with my foot on the base and catch a ball just after a girl runs through first... I'm assuming; that felt like it was safe. But I didn't see what happened; I was focused on the ball. The ref called her 'out'. What? I thought she was safe, but I was wrong! It was then it was time to act like I didn't think it was a big deal as our team cheered. Then I fucked up a difficult but not impossible catch after that. 

So anyway the game ended up tying, so... neither team lost.Then we played flip cup with them, and we ALMOST played a game of flip cup for the tie-breaker, but both teams mutually agreed not too... which worked out in our favor, because our team had horrible luck, (or horrible skill, whatever you wanna call it). 

Badass night.

Thursday, March 6, 2014

Relax and Let It Happen - TX Live

Thursday March 6
5:40 PM – Relax begins to gather at El Mercado.
5:42 PM - First round of margs ordered. Shitty half price apps ordered.
5:52 PM – Second round of margs ordered.
6:15 PM – Third round or margs ordered.
6:34 PM – Dre arrives.
6:35 PM – Final round of margs ordered.
6:45 PM – Depart for fields.
6:59 PM – Shit on their dreams chant.
7:00 PM – Game vs. TnB begins. TnB genuinely believes they can win.
7:02 PM – TnB loses all hope.
7:06 PM  – Relax leads 8-0.
7:21 PM  – Relax leads 13-0. Game concludes due to mercy rule.
7:26 PM – TnB tries to cheer themselves up with their silly TnB chant. Relax throws things at them.
7:32 PM – JG goes home. Kate goes home. Alex goes to the bar with TnB because she feels bad for them. Jen and Jenna go somewhere else to drink. Joey goes somewhere else to black out. Hutch goes to some girl’s house.

Friday March 7
7:46 AM – Various members of Relax wake up. Joey is already in an Operating Room supervising a surgery. Hutch gives his booty call a classy kiss on the cheek and sneaks out in silence. Dre snuggles deeper in his sheets and remembers the one catch he made successfully last night. He giggles in delight.  Everyone takes a moment to reflect on how great it is to be a member of Relax, and throws in a prayer for those less fortunate.

Smooches y’all.

Son's of Pitches - TX Live

It's going to be short and sweet this week. Why? Because I'm in NOLA bitches! Mardi Gras!

Here's the important stuff you're dying to know:

1) I may have (probably) saved Stephen Moursund's life when I selflessly blocked a rogue kickball from nailing him in the head when he wasn't paying attention. Then we hugged it out. It was kind of magical.

2) Three weeks in to the season and the Sons of Pitches are still undefeated! What? What is this crazy talk? All that time spent losing and suddenly we're winning? Yeah, that's right. It's happening. We were the Texas Live League Champions once upon a time...so, there's that.

3) Conversations With Drunk Pitches: Unless you want to get inked directly on your a-hole, the best place to get a tattoo of someone climbing out of your poop-shoot is the lower back.

You're Welcome.