Welcome to the Ghost Man on Third blog, the Worldwide Leader in Austin WAKA Kickball & Social Sports. Posts are player-generated, please email waka.gmot@gmail.com to contribute.

Thursday, October 20, 2016

Week 7 Power Rankings

Rank - Team - Δ - Summary

1 - Finkick Odair - N/A
Lead off home run sealed a win.

Actually gave up some late offense, they appear to be vulnerable to the deep ball. Not that it mattered, they still won 12-3.

3 - The Tyrannical Tea Baggers - N/A
Tried to lose, but couldn't quite pull it off.

4-  Plan B - N/A
With no regard for human life.

5 - Tight and Bright - 
Probably still hungover from two weeks ago.

6 - Sit On My Base - N/A
Got a little mojo going late, will look to keep it going against Plan B this week. Probably their best chance to move up the rankings.

7 - Large Hardon Collider - Girth - N/A
They're just waiting for Hardon Bowl 2.0.

8 - Large Hardon Collider - Length - N/A
The bad karma train continues as the belt remains missing.

9 - Brown Guys and Friends -  ↑1
Upset the #9 PBT to take the top spot in the Music conference!

10 - Pitches be Trippin' -  ↓1
Totes vulnerable.

11 - At Least We're Having Fun - ↑3
Don't believe what you've seen. When Mom and Dad show up this is a top 3 team.

12 - PurpleSaurus Rex -  ↑3

13 - Jacked to the Kicks - ↓2
First losing streak for these guys, but I think they're just having too much fun to bother with winning all their games.

14 - Booooze on First! -  ↓1
Oooph, gave that one away for sure.

15 - Sons of Pitches Kickin The Punt - ↑3

16 - Kickin' Grass and Takin' Names - 
They got kicked in the punt.

17 - Do You Even Kick Bro? - ↓1
Got the W, but there was some quality action below them.

18 - Red Ball and V0dka - ↓1
You made it guys! Welcome to the 18 hole.

Week 7 Picks

This whole going 6-3 business is really cramping my game, I have a bad feeling I could finish poorly after having such a strong start. Like the Texas Rangers. Too soon?

Regular Season Record: 38-13-3 (.731)


Game 1: Pitches Be Trippin' vs Do you Even Kick, Bro?
Pitches Be Trippin' -3.5

Game 2: Large Hardon Collider - Length vs Tight and Bright
Tight and Bright -2.5

Game 3: Plan B vs Sit On My Base
Plan B -1.5

Game 4: At Least We're Having Fun vs Red Ball and V0dka
At Least We're Having Fun -3.5

Game 5: PurpleSaurus Rex vs Brown Guy and Friends
Brown Guy and Friends -3.5

Game 6: Jacked to the Kicks vs Sons of Pitches Kickin the Punt
Jacked to the Kicks -2.5

Game 7: FRESH BRU vs Large Hardon Collider - Girth

Game 8: Booooze On First! vs Kickin' Grass & Takin' Names
Booooze On First! -2.5

Game of the Week: Finkick Odair vs The Tyrannical Tea Baggers
Now, technically Relax and Let it Happen doesn't exist anymore with regard to TX Live, but lets not kid ourselves that this isn't at it's core the same team. Sure Jay isn't the captain anymore so he can't start himself at pitcher every game and Joey is trying jumping from team to team like a two bit hooker and Alex is "retired from kickball" and yet still comes to the bar almost every week (which is about as accurate as your boyfriend telling you that you're still a virgin if you only do it in the pooper when you were 17). This is "Relax and Let It Happen, but we're going to change the name so I don't have to invite the people who are too old and slow to hang anymore and can recruit some new hot talent". Vs The Tyrannical Tea Baggers who take the "We're old and slow and fuck you get off our lawn! We're not changing anything!" I'll be honest, I like the latter approach more even if they're definitely not going to win this game.
Finkick Odair -3.5

PurpleSaurus Rex

Don't look now but PurpleSaurus Rex is officially on a win streak! None of us are really sure how to handle this as we never anticipated winning a game and were confident we could lock up the 18 seed all season, so we're in uncharted waters here! All this was also accomplished while sporting tutus tiaras and tights, the most time-honored PurpleSaurus Rex team theme:

A video posted by PurpleSaurus Rex (@purplesaurus.rex) on

Kickball wins aside, it's time we started talking about the Life of the Party contest. We can't do this on our own people! Well, clearly we can but it's way more fun when a worthy adversary challenges for the throne. Here's the thing: y'all are all fun as shit, you're just not playing the game! I'm gonna clue you all in, because I feel like I'm playing with house money and taking the pot here.

Wanna win social points? Here's the checklist for success:

1. Appoint a social captain. They are responsible for completing the rest of the checklist each week.
2. Is it a theme week? MAKE SURE YOUR TEAM PARTICIPATES TO THE MAX! Theme weeks are the #1 point scoring opportunities.
3. Take a silly picture at the bar or at the fields and post it on Instagram with #clubwakaaustin, #yourteam, and #picoftheweek. Just posting is a point! Doesn't even have to be great!
4. If it's a theme week make sure to take a team pic at the field pre or post game. Post it with #clubwakaaustin #yourteam #bestdressed.
5. Find your ref at the bar and buy them a beer! Take a selfie and post it with #reflove #clubwakaaustin
6. Participate in the party game hosted by Caitlin at Toss at 10:30 PM. Just playing gets you a point, winning gets you more!
7. Send a short post to waka.gmot@gmail.com for the blog. Posting is a point!

You do all that, (just PARTICIPATING, mind you), and you've scored a minimum of 4 points on a regular night, and 8 points on a theme night. Actually win the bar game / theme night / picoftheweek? You can score as many as 14 points all at once! That means that the two teams that haven't played AT ALL this season could go from tied for 17th all the way to 5th place in the league on one night. It's anyones game!

Boomerang is your friend. 3 second videos are awesome for #picoftheweek submissions
A video posted by Stephen Moursund (@stephen.moursund) on

Thursday, October 13, 2016

Week 6 Power Rankings

Rank - Team - Δ - Summary

1 - Finkick Odair - N/A
Despite getting humbled in Vegas, they're still the best team in Austin.


3 - The Tyrannical Tea Baggers - ↑1
Winning with class.

4-  Plan B - ↑1
Pooped on the not-trying drunk version of TNB.

5 - Tight and Bright - 
Despite being down 13-0 and blind drunk, Dre was still arguing bang bang calls at first base. Shine on baby.

6 - Sit On My Base - N/A
Just storing up power to release the spirit bomb.

7 - Large Hardon Collider - Girth - N/A
They're ready for a recount of the seeding vote. Hanging chads, etc.

8 - Large Hardon Collider - Length - N/A
23-4 is the most lopsided game I have ever seen in CLUBWAKA kickball. Bravo sirs and madams. Now give me my belt back before the karma starts literally killing people!

9 - Pitches be Trippin' -  N/A
Apparently they took offense to me saying they looked "vulnerable". I take it back guys, you definitely deserve to be in the Capital conference and sandbagged the vote with crocodile tears about injuries so you could stay down and steamroll. 

10 - Brown Guys and Friends -  ↑4
I think we have to assume that their default mode is playing well and they have to get super drunk to get off their game. Only way to explain these swings.

11 - Jacked to the Kicks - ↓1
Understandable slept on PurpleSaurus Rex and couldn't pull it back out when they jumped up early.

12 - Kickin' Grass and Takin' Names - ↓1
Can't give up 7 run margins and stay in the top 3 in the conference!

13 - Booooze on First! -  N/A
EmPHAtic win.

14 - At Least We're Having Fun - ↓2
There's a good team in here somewhere when they're paying attention, but a lady never tells.

15 - PurpleSaurus Rex - 
When only the 11 most committed players show up and the party captain makes the vet co-captain make the lineup/field assignments instead of making it up on the fly, it appears this team is actually functional on the field.

16 - Do You Even Kick Bro? - ↓1
Staved off disaster against the newly alone-at-the-bottom SOPKTP.

17 - Red Ball and V0dka - ↓1
I guess those runs against Pitches be Trippin were all they had in them for a bit, blanked by Boooze on First last week.

18 - Sons of Pitches Kickin The Punt - ↓1
Taking the title back from PurpleSaurus with another come from the front loss.

Week 6 Picks

Upsets! TNB got fall down drunk instead of playing kickball, BG&F and PSR took it up a notch and decided to play kickball outta nowhere. 6-3 last week.

Regular Season Record: 32-10-3 (.761)


Game 1: LHC Girth vs The Tyrannical Tea Baggers
Teabaggers -5.5

Game 2: LHC Length vs Plan B
Plan B -1.5

Game 3: Booooze On First! vs PurpleSaurus Rex
Booze on First -2.5

Game 4: Finkick Odair vs Tight and Bright
Finkick Odair -

Game 5: Brown Guy and Friends vs Pitches Be Trippin'
Pitches Be Trippin' -3.5

Game 6: FRESH BRU vs Sit On My Base

Game 7: Jacked to the Kicks vs At Least We're Having Fun
Jacked to the Kicks -1.5

Game 8: Sons of Pitches Kickin the Punt vs Kickin' Grass & Takin' Names
Kickin' Grass -3.5

Game of the Week: Red Ball and V0dka vs Do You Even Kick, Bro?
Both teams are 2-3. RAA is 5.2 to 5.6, RFA is 3.4 to 3.6. Total difference in run differential is exactly ONE. Just about the most statistically similar teams I've ever seen with 5 games of the season already behind us, this should be a tight matchup! Clearly math can accurately predict performance and there really isn't any significant variance in co-ed adult kickball, so I'm making the pick by the numbers. Assuming the teams score exactly the average of (their own RFA + their opponents RAA), we get Red Ball V0dka 4.4, Do You Even Kick Bro 4.5. I could pick a tie here, but instead I'm going to round to nearest integers and call it Red Ball 4 vs Kick Bro 5.
Do You Even Kick, Bro? -.5

PurpleSaurus Rex

The Vegas hangover is real, I've been going to bed at 8 PM and sleeping till almost 7 the last two days. Feels good, but WHY AM I STILL TIRED!? In case you guys have been living under a rock, the once-per-year showcase CLUBWAKA event WAKApalooza was held last week in sunny Las Vegas, Nevada, with three teams from Austin joining the fray (two in the world chamionship Founder's Cup tournament, one in the drunken shit show Fun Games tournament.

In case you're wondering how good these Founder's Cup teams are, here's a hint: Finkick Odair, our 4-peat champs who haven't lost a league game in something like a year, went 1-2 in pool play and lost in the first round of the elimination tournament. Perennial runner-up and every-now-and-then-champions the Tyrannical Teabaggers went 0-3 in pool play and didn't make the cut. Miami's Meatballs and Denver's DICE were the two finalists, and the championship game ended on this play as DICE attempted to get the tying run across in the bottom of the 5th.

I was out in the parking lot coordinating shuttles back to the LINQ Hotel & Casino when this happened, but the resulting cheering sounded like UT had just scored a touchdown.

A few PurpleSaurus vets joined the Large Hardon Collider to take on the Fun Games, and we ended up with things like this happening:


Altogether huge week, seems a little unreal being back in Austin doing normal stuff again. Good thing PurpleSaurus Rex is pulling out Tutus, Tights, and Tiaras this week so I can get that Fun Games feeling back!

Thursday, September 29, 2016

Week 5 Power Rankings

Rank - Team - Δ - Summary

1 - Finkick Odair - N/A
Running into a mid-season stretch of weak teams, all part of my secret plan that I just made up to sabotage their chances at FC next week.

Firmly established as the #2 in the league.

3 - Tight and Bright - ↑1
I promised Dre I would move them up in the rankings if he reffed so ... here we are.

4 - The Tyrannical Tea Baggers - ↓1
I could try and justify dropping them due to an unconvincing win over Plan B, but in truth I just made a rankings side deal with Dre. #integrity

5 -  Plan B - N/A
Not sure how this team is worse than it was last season, but it seems like a little of the magic just isn't there.

6 - Sit On My Base - N/A
Taking it like a champ against the league champs.

7 - Large Hardon Collider - Girth - N/A
I don't think anyone even actually reffed the Hardon Bowl, but it looked like fun!

8 - Large Hardon Collider - Length - N/A
Still haven't returned the belt.

9 - Pitches be Trippin' -  N/A
Returned to their curb stomping ways with a 10-3 victory

10 - Jacked to the Kicks - ↑2
Deceptively good team, don't sleep on this crew.

11 - Kickin' Grass and Takin' Names - ↑2
Gave up more than they should have to PSR, but word on the street is Rex had a ringer in the roster last week.

12 - At Least We're Having Fun - ↑1
I feel like this might actually be where this team belongs in the rankings long term. Their game this week will speak volumes.

13 - Booooze on First! -  ↑1
Took care of business with a clean win over SOPKTP.

14 - Brown Guys and Friends -  ↓4
Turns out that as long as these guys have at least an hour to start drinking before the game their performance suffers dramatically. They have no 7 PM games for the rest of the season soooooo...

15 - Do You Even Kick Bro? - N/A
Got me all excited there for a hot minute, but this isn't a revolution. They are we we thought they were.

16 - Red Ball and V0dka - N/A
Hard to judge a loss to PBT really, but they did put some runs on the board?

17 - Sons of Pitches Kickin The Punt - N/A
They've got the heart and the will but the execution just isn't there.

18 - PurpleSaurus Rex -  N/A
Actually made the game interesting when they got within 1 in the bottom of the 4th, but gave up 3 in the 5th frame and couldn't convert any runs even with their team Dad attempting to bunt. (Spoiler: he is bad at bunting and kicked away after failing to bunt 3 times) 

Week 5 Picks

Now we're cookin' with bacon. 7-1-1 last week!

Regular Season Record: 26-7-3 (.764)


Game 1: Red Ball and VOdka vs Booooze On First!
Booooze on First -2.5

Game 2: Sons of Pitches Kickin the Punt vs Do You Even Kick, Bro?
Do You Even Kick Bro -1.5

Game 3: Sit On My Base vs The Tyrannical Tea Baggers
Tyrannical Tea Baggers -3.5

Game 4: Brown Guy and Friends vs Kickin' Grass & Takin' Names
Kickin' Grass -3.5

Game 5: FRESH BRU vs Large Hardon Collider - Length

Game 6: PurpleSaurus Rex vs Jacked to the Kicks
Jacked to the Kicks -4.5

Game 7: Tight and Bright vs Plan B
Tight and Bright -2.5

Game 8: Finkick Odair vs Large Hardon Collider - Girth
Finkick Odair -10.5

Game of the Week: Pitches Be Trippin' vs At Least We're Having Fun
The best of the worst is always a weird place to be. Everyone in the top half of the Music conference is having a great time winning, but you don't want to be TOO good in case we end up voting next season and people remember getting their asses kicked by you and vote you up to Capital. ALWHF has done a good job of flying under the radar this season, and they do completely fall apart when their manager isn't there to handle kicking order and fielding assignments, but PBT has gone from unstoppable to vulnerable in the last couple of weeks even though they remain undefeated. My guess is the Funsies take their foot off the pedal again to get themselves back down to a middle of the pack ranking, but this is actually going to be one of the most evenly matched games talent wise of the season, barring possibly Kickin' Grass vs Having Fun.
Pitches Be Trippin' -1.5

PurpleSaurus Rex - For Great Justice!

Few things make PurpleSaurians happier than excuses to wear costumes, which makes tonight extra special as we take our rightful place as gods among men as the Justice League! A few confirmed attendees are Batgirl, Catwoman, and Green Lantern, while yours truly will be taking on the important role of Wonder Woman in a reprise of my 2005 debut:

I am not this skinny anymore, and I have not obtained permission to grow that glorious hair back out)

Sit On My Base

It's been a rough couple of weeks for Sit on My Base. After winning our opening match, we've lost or drawn each week since. But that hasn't stopped us from having a blast doing it. This week we were trounced by Finkick Odair, in a game that we knew we were going to lose. This team is warming up in drills before the match, and from what I've been told (and have now seen) are the real deal. Luckily, they're as classy and cool as they are AMAZING at kickball. I've never had so much fun getting the crap kicked out of me. We slapped and chugged box wine, shared plenty of laughs, and it never felt like we were losing anything. Also, I witnessed the most amazing catch EVER. Sara Perez, beer in hand, made a sick catch in center field that I believe will go down in history as the best ever. Thanks Waka for being so awesome that a 13-0 loss feels like a win.


Thursday, September 22, 2016

Large Hardon Collider - Length

Nightman - the lyrics!

Dayman (ah-ah-ah)
Fighter of the Nightman (ah-ah-ah)

Champion of the Sun (ah-ah-ah)
You're a Master of Karate
And friendship
For Everyone

Dayman (ah-ah-ah)
Fighter of the Nightman (ah-ah-ah)
Champion of the Sun! (ah-ah-ah)
You're a Master of Karate

And Friendship
For Everyone

Dayman (ah-ah-ah)
Fighter of the Nightman (ah-ah-ah)
Champion of the Sun (ah-ah-ah)
You're a Master of Karate
And Friendship
For Everyone!

Week 4 Picks

I got cocky. 9-0 one week. 4-3-2 the next.

Regular Season Record: 19-6-2 (.740)


Game 1: At Least We're Having Fun vs Do You Even Kick, Bro?
At Least We're Having Fun -1.5

Game 2: Tight and Bright vs FRESH BRU

Game 3: Brown Guy and Friends vs Jacked to the Kicks
Brown Guy -1.5

Game 4: Finkick Odair vs Sit On My Base
Finkick Odair -7.5

Game 5: Booooze On First! vs Sons of Pitches Kickin the Punt
Boooooze on First! -3.5

Game 6: The Tyrannical Teabaggers vs Plan B
Teabaggers -3.5

Game 7: PurpleSaurus Rex vs Kickin' Grass & Takin' Names
Kickin Grass -4.5

Game 8: Pitches Be Trippin' vs Red Ball and VOdka
Pitches Be Trippin' -4.5

Game of the Week: The Large Hardon Collision
These two teams have been a little off their game playing up in the Capital conference. Out of their element, forced to try and live up to unreasonable expectations, and held back from just swinging their genitals around in wild abandon. That ends tonight, as the Hardon Bowl pits Hardon on Hardon to double penetrate the league's sensibilities. I still have high expectations for this game, but only for the return of their party spirit.
Large Hardon Collider -.5