Welcome to the Ghost Man on Third blog, the Worldwide Leader in Austin WAKA Kickball & Social Sports. Posts are player-generated, please email waka.gmot@gmail.com to contribute.

Tuesday, May 19, 2015

PurpleSaurus Rex - TX Live

Rain may force the postponement of kickball games, but it does nothing to stymie the hot, hot, forceful, thrusting juggernaut that is PurpleSaurus Rex. The humidity just makes us steamier really. Thanks to the unsurprisingly in-sync tandem of dino mates Ninad and Sarah in the human backboard competition, Purple remains relevant in the only competition that really matters: the Life of the Party. Unfortunately Kickin the Punt failed to bring the Party Belt with them and we didn't get to take sexy pictures with it this week after posting a week 1 lead, but we'll forgive them because they're awesome and potentially willing to engage in some PUNT with us.

Having a theme night rained out is just the worst, so we're busting out the trustiest of trusty favorites: the THREE Ts. Tutus. Tights. Tiaras. On their own, each of these items bestows incredible grace and power on the wearing, imbuing them with preternatural powers of partying and engaging is flamboyant mating rituals. When all three are combined, the raw animal magnetism of the host results in an almost unfair level of sexual attraction from everyone around them, regardless of gender or really even species. You may be humans, and we may be dinosaurs, but don't think we're not "genetically compatible" or something.

The current storm systems ravaging the land appear to be the result of an unprecedented El Nino phenomenon, the likes of which have never been recorded before. As dinosaurs, we're pretty sensitive about the possibility of potentially extinction-level global weather events, so we're going to play it safe and party for the rest of the season like the end times are upon us. Just in case. We're on field #2 this week from 6:30 - 9 PM, there will be 5 gallons of PurpleSaurus Punch to consume and we're happy to share the liquid wealth with others. The fee for a cup is one dance move. Show us what you got.

Love,
Stephen & PurpleSaurus Rex


Large Hardon Collider - TX Live

Our game last week was an exciting one. There was a brief window of hope for Recess Rockstars right before the game started, but it was quickly washed away in a turbulent, high-Reynolds flow of horrific three-dimensional vortices. We almost felt bad for doling out such a graphic, gratuitous, grand slam of greatness, but oftentimes a team finds itself having to reflect on….oh wait, shit. Last week was a rainout.


In a true showing of Hardon Collision, we instead decided to don our insanely amazing neon fanny packs and get drunk with our new favorite team: Alcaballics. A solid pregame led us to our second home at The Park, where we partied so hard, and looked so beautiful, that they made us their official mascots.

Something very similar to this happened.
Seriously though. They shared our #austinwaka picture set, which I’m sure we’ll see some royalties on in the near future.
Ohhh yeah. That money should start flowing aaaaannyyyytime now…

I digress. Eventually whisperings began to float around The Park like restless party ghosts. These whisperings were of course what every kickballer yearns to hear, but dares not speak aloud: Ego’s. Yes, there were some Ego’s virgins in the crowd that night. Obviously this is no longer the case. Obviously things got weird. As they were meant to.

This week we are matched up against Alcaballics, which could end up being the blackout game of the century. The top two party teams in the league pitted against each other in singular destruction of their livers.


I’ll also let you in on a little secret, dear readers. Our team theme this week will be “‘Murica” and we’ll be sporting our national pride loud and proud. Feel free to join us in this endeavor and also come sexually harass us at the bar afterwards. We ARE famous there, after all.


Kick In the PUNT - TX Live

Ok ballers, There is a serious talk that we need to have. As we are going into week three and quickly approaching the Mid-Season Stoplight party there is something very important we need to address, Predominately Unexpected Naked Time-Easily Regretted. Better known as PUNTER. Many of our fellow kickballers have fallen victim to PUNTER but very few come forth openly. PUNTER is a silent predator that rips apart friends and sometimes entire teams, usually before those affected even know what hit them.

It usually starts with one baller, in most cases unattached, this baller finds themselves very attracted to another baller. This second baller can be on the same team or on a different one. The PUNTER doesn’t see team color, just his/her prey. The PUNTER feeds on alcohol consumption which gives it courage to manifest into full blown thoughts of PUNT. The baller is consumed with PUNT. How to get PUNT, how to be PUNT, how to eat PUNT. PUNT, PUNT PUNT. There is no stopping this poor soul. Kickball buddies who have seen this PUNT take over the baller’s life had tried in the past to stop it, but to no avail. The PUNT always wins. It all happens so fast, a few drinks at the bar perhaps a round or two of flip cup and the PUNT has completely kicked in. If the first baller was lucky enough to infect the second baller with PUNT then they will ride off into the sunset together, or at least to the back alley behind the bar. 

Until now you are probably wondering why PUNT needs a warning. PUNT in itself can be a lovely thing, it is PUNTER that we need to worry about. PUNTER usually hits the next morning when you are trying to untangle cleats and tall socks from last night’s events and you realize that the baller from the orange team who is passed out next to you is not what you though they were. All of the magic from the PUNT is gone, and PUNTER has kicked in. You grab your shirt and forget the underwear that is somehow missing and quietly make your escape. You pray to the kickball gods that no one finds out, but in the end they ALL already know. 

Word spreads across the field and you become bitter. Your teammates often openly call you a PUNT when you are kicking and you are now having difficulty getting to first with any team. The upside is while you are contemplating if you will ever be able to get it up again, another baller has been infected with PUNT and the cycle will repeat, letting you off the hook. 

Just remember kids: play safe, wear protection, and go easy on your fellow ballers.

You never know when you might fall victim to a Kick In The PUNT.

Thursday, May 14, 2015

Welcome to the GMOT, and the Life of the Party

Hello TX Live-ers! I want to welcome you to a beautiful special happy place known as the Ghost Man on Third blog: a magical corner of the internet full of kickball, flip cup, bar games, smack talk, shaming, and the total amassed general tomfoolery that one can only find in a WAKA Kickball league.

Now, in years past, there have been many more contributing authors than just a few people sending in blurbs every week, and we AIM TO RETURN THIS BLOG TO ITS FORMER GLORY. If you haven't already heard about the Life of the Party competition, you need to catch up. Let me lay it out for you:

Each week, you play a kickball game. Ok cool, that makes sense, this is a kickball league. It does not end there! The Life of the Party is an ongoing competition that will take place throughout the season and will BELT a final champion after the regular season completes that will be forever known as the Party Champs of TX Live. There are a bunch of ways to play: dressing up on theme nights, posting pictures to our Facebook Group, playing the weekly Bar Games that are available at The Park on South Lamar each week, and finally SUBMITTING POSTS TO THIS BLOG! That's right, all you gotta do is send in an email to waka.gmot@gmail.com and it'll be posted right here with your team's name across it, and BOOM - 25 Social Points! Get yourself on the board.

It's a great place talk about how awesome your team is, talk smack to an upcoming opponent, share photoshopped illustrations of people in the league, or pretty much whatever you want! Only rules: no nude pics, and no hate speech. If your post is abusive it won't get posted and we're forwarding to your mother. Shame on you.

Points will be tallied 3 times a week: once on Wednesdays counting up all blog points, once on Thursdays recording bar games points, and again on Sundays recording points for pictures and challenges. May your pursuit of the belt lead you to the Party Promised Land!



TX Live Social Challenge #1 - Team Mascots!

As promised, this season will feature a few impromptu opportunities to earn bonus social points, and the first one starts now with the team mascot competition. A team mascot can be an inanimate object, an animatronic object, a re-animated object, or basically any kind of object. Alternatively, you can have a mascot costume that one of your teammates wears to games! The point is, get creative and have something that you parade around the fields representing your team. With any luck this will get competitive and people will start abducting other teams' mascots and posting ransom notes on the GMOT.

Dance moves will almost certainly earn you bonus points.


To enter the competition, post an album of your team's mascot to the Facebook Group and tag it #austinwaka and #mascot. Top three mascots will win social points: 150 pts, 100 pts, and 50 pts respectively. Contest ends in two weeks, so you've got a week to create and a week to take pictures of the mascot in action!

Pitches be Trippin' - TX Live

Hi, new and old friends! My name is Jessica, but you can all call me "Jazzy". With the new season underway, I wanted to introduce you all to people you will want to know. Do be shy, come say hi! I promise we don't bite....too hard;)

Jessica "Jazzy" Nicole Hanna
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AOL Screen Name: Dancingjester09
N’SYNC or BSB? - N’SYNC! JT all the way!
My favorite unusual food combination is Mac & Cheese with Baked Bean Chilli served with Fried Fish!
T Swift or Beyonce? - Queen Bey! #Flawless

Andrea Jane Rehkopf

AOL name: Toocrazi4u
1) NSYNC or BSB?  Backstreet Boys: they got it going on.
2) Oddest item in your car right now? Cards against humanity and a dog bed.
3) Pick up line:  Did you sit in a pile of sugar? Because you got a sweet ass

Warren Charles Ogle
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AOL Screen Name: ChunkyLover53
Favorite Superhero and briefly why: Batman; dude can barely see his billions of dollars through all the super models throwing themselves at him, and he still goes out there and puts his life on the line to clean up the city that killed his parents. That's some gangster shit.
Actor/Actress who should play you in your documentary: Morgan Freeman
 Favorite Pickup line: Corporate accounts payable, Nina Speaking. JUST a moment.


Megan Diane Truax
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 AOL Screenname (If you forget yours make up a fun one, or else I chose soccerguurrlllll89999999) MeganT285 (original, I know.)
Favorite superhero and briefly why Catwoman... awesome costume
Actor/Actress  who should play you in your documentary Reece Weatherspoon... I LOVE her. :)
What is your Dream date ehhh.. one that doesn't end in him stalking me.
What is your favorite pickup line We're not socks. But I think we'd make a great pair.

Kyle John Trzaskalski

AOL Screen Name: uvacavs4217 - I was misguided and liked UVA as a kid.  Kid's are so stupid.
Nsync.. really is this a question?  Everything Justin Timberlake touches is gold.
Taylor Swift.. Because Beyonce' doesnt get me like Tswift does, plus Beyonce said she would be at ACL last year and never came.  I mean that's the word on the street just ask Julie.
It would be the love story of our generation and would last forever.. or until Keira Knightley fell in love with me, she has an accent she wins. b)  I can't write a sad song about you (clearly I would be Taylor Swifts Kryptonite)
Washed between your toes? I dont think I ever have.
Dream Date? Drinks while playing with 20 puppies.
 Are you a pirate?  Because I want cho booty.

Peter William Graham
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AOL Screen Name: soonerboy14
Superhero? Batman, because he has no superpowers. It's something you can aspire to. Get rich and kick ass!!
T-swift or Beyonce? Beyonce. Break up songs probably cover more than 80% of Taylor Swift music. Beyonce is over here talking about putting a ring on it. I think Beyonce has healthier relationships (and she's hotter).
Pick up line? Let me push you to master and give you the D. (git push origin master \n git branch -D sexyBranch). It's a git joke I thought of on the spot once. I'm a software engineer…


Nathan Gabriel Goodman
Nathan Goodman Pic.jpg
AOL Screenname - Your_Moms_Ride_Home_86
   Oddest item you could find in your car right now - A red lightsaber hors' d' oeuvres pick. From Star Wars night at my last Round Rock Express game of course.
        My favorite unusual food combination is mac and cheese topped with applesauce.
        What is your Dream date - December 32 because it would make Christmas vacation another day longer.  (See what I did there?)

Stacey Teresa Cleveland
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AOL screen name: Purtty1NpunK (I was young and awesome)
Favorite Superhero: The Flash. BAZINGA!
How often do you clean between your toes? I didn't know that was a thing. Obviously never. I'm still awesome though.
Favorite pickup line: My name may not be Luna, but I sure know how to Lovegood. (If this is over your head, we cannot be friends)

Amy Michelle Slotin
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AOL Screenname - I think it was cowtipper625. (Yep I'm from SC)
Favorite superhero and briefly why - as a kid it was plastic man....now it would prob beee ummmm TMNT OR IRON MAN
Oddest item you could find in your car right now - hah I work with kids...there is a looonnnnggg list including bubblegum flavored gloves, go fish game, and lots of scratch lotto cards
My favorite unusual food combination is grilled cheese with ketchup and pickles

Michelle Desiree Bonnette
me.jpgAOL Screen Name: utchick128
Actor/Actress  who should play you in your documentary? Laura Prepon
 N’SYNC or BSB? Briefly why: neither, i have a decent taste for music ;)
Oddest item you could find in your car right now?  myself
How often do you clean between your toes? every damn day, cmon!

Julie Elizabeth Heier
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AOL Screen name: Bubble108
Beyoncé or Taylor Swift: Wait, I am not Beyoncé? Unfortunately #iwokeuplikedis
Oddest thing in my car:  device called “mole zapp” my amazon prime should be revoked
What's your Favorite pick line? Are you a campfire? Cause you are hot and I want s'more.

Raymond Jay Prefume
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AOL Screenname: Ohherropreeze
Favorite superhero and briefly why? Captain America... Merica!
Actor/Actress  who should play you in your documentary? Dwayne Johnson obviously
Taylor Swift or Beyoncé? Why? Ariel from Little mermaid... She's a babe
What is your favorite pickup line? Girl... The back of yo head is ridiculous!

Brandon Michael Brown
Brandon.jpg
AOL Screen name: frrstgmp8
Actor/Actress who should play you in your documentary? Charlie Kelly from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (Actor's real name is Charlie Day) because apparently we sound a lot alike
How often do you clean between your toes? Everytime I shower...isn't that a normal thing to do?!?
Favorite superhero and briefly why? Captain Planet...because he's a hero and gonna take pollution down to zero (I'm not sure we can be friends if you honestly don't know who this is)

Scott Michael Murphy
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AOL Screenname: Smurphy_smurf01

Christina *Joy* O’Donnell
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AOL Screenname: don_chri_dogsrule

Justin *Randall* Jordan
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AOL Screenname: redbearded_jj25

James Robert Clark
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AOL Screenname: semaj_kralc00

Adam Michael Goodman
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AOL Screenname: goody_boy90

Travis *Patrick* Sackett
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AOL Screenname: T_bikeman_dude

Stephen *George* Stowe
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AOL Screenname: stoweaway4123

Peace, love Jazzy!

Wednesday, May 13, 2015

Alcaballics - TX Live

Ahhhhhh yeeeeeahhhh.  What's that I hear?  Bell Biv Divoe and R. Kelly jams? Is that the sound of the Alcaballics back in the game?!

We took the winter season off to mentally recover from the unfortunate forfeit we undured during playoffs in the fall.  (Seriously, its a sore subject.  Don't ask as about it.)

But we are back and better than ever with a good core group of Alcaballics returning and a whole slew of awesome new (to us) blood!  We are ready to dance our asses off and hold up the Alcaballics' name of being generally the drunkest assholes out there who seem to be moderately athletic.

A move up into the more competitive Capital Conference didn't scare us right out of the gate... the Alcaballics overcame The Recess Rockstars in a 6-2 victory. This week we have a tough match up against Ram It Home, but we feel confident that we will be winning at least in the dance moves department. 

Speaking of dance moves... we plan on getting DOWN at the Park every week, so if you see us out there, come over and say "haaaay" and who knows, maybe our very own Becca Gutstadt will do some acro yoga with you, if you know what I mean... (And what I mean is that she is an actual acro yoga teacher who will teach you how to correctly stack your handstands.)

Until next week, as the poet of our generation Coolio, would say, keep rollin' with the homies.

Large Hardon Collider - TX Live

In possibly the wittiest, near speed-of-light impact of physics and dick jokes ever seen by the realms of man, I present to you Large Hardon Collider. Our story is as old as time itself. We trace our lineage back to the beginnings of the game when squares were becoming circles, circles where becoming spheres, and spheres were becoming kickballs.
We currently represent varying transitional parts of this image

We were there when John D. Rockefeller decided to come to Texas and dropkick a 300-lb slab of pink granite into outer space because he heard someone say that oil SHOULDN’T come in a 42 gal barrel, thus pioneering two important modern technologies: 1) Low Earth Orbit satellites, and 2) Kickball.
View from the first “Rockefeller Class” kickball

Don’t be intimidated, though, by our historical prowess and fleshy moniker. We’re here to do three things and three things only: 1) Drink more than Purplesaurus, 2) Be sexually irresistible to both sexes simultaneously, and 3) Participate in themes that are mostly offensive, but also give you a strange tingling sensation in some yet-to-be-explored part of your body.


So we’ll see you at the bar after your game. You can’t miss us because the whole team will be there! We’re the insanely attractive ones in the delightfully sexy, coral/salmon shirts.
Image 3:
No we’re not Kick in the Punt. THAT’S PINK, DAMNIT!

Come party with us, because if you don’t…we’ll find you!

Tuesday, May 12, 2015

Kickin' the Punt - TX Live

Serious amounts of love go out to my half new team on KICKIN THE PUNT!!!  PINK PINK PINK. Our boys now how to rock it, and the girls just look fine. Don’t be scared other teams…we know how to have fun and play like we mean it *beer burp*

What a showing the first week. And a fun game even if we lost. Whatever, shake it off. We did great regardless. And with the belt still in our possession, it went on several adventures. Let’s see who else can #wakabelt. 

Lots of appreciation goes out to the bar games though what’s up with the fail on The Park and the double booking? No matter, we had a late game so once we got there, everything was cleared out and we were ready to rock and roll.

Till next week...

Monday, May 11, 2015

Kickness Everdeen - TX Live

Hello TX Live.

We are Kickness Everdeen.  You may not have heard of us, but you've seen us before.  

Combining the powers of Fresh (TX Republic), Abominaballs (TX Live-Capital), Relax (TX Live-Capital) and other misc. badasses (WAKA Oklahoma, Austin soccer), we've created a coalition of sexiness that is not to be messed with.

While our first week was marred by tardiness, the remainder of the season will be a blur of white hot speed & grace.  Thanks to Large & In Charge for dealing with our tardiness in stride, and with class.  Y'all are a great squad with some top-notch leadership.  

We hope to shotgun beers with each & every team out there.  Until then, may the odds... you know the rest.  


Sunday, May 10, 2015

PurpleSaurus Rex - TX Live

The rumors are true, PurpleSaurus Rex is back. By guilting people into signing up for "one last season before the baby comes" I've assembled what may well be the greatest roster of all time. Reading through the lineup is like reading the tracklist of your favorite bands greatest hits album: all the best songs you remember and a few more awesome originals to remind everyone that they've STILL GOT IT.

We cam out hard week 1 rocking the undies on the outside theme, blew through 5 gallons on Purple Drank, and played an absolutely flawless game that we somehow lost 3-2. I'm told there was a home run or something, but I probably missed it during that inning where that drank went right through me and I had to do the unthinkable: take a shit in the Gillis bathrooms in the middle of the game. It was pretty horrible. Y'all learn from my errors and keep TP in the car, you never know what's gonna happen out there.


One stellar play stood out as Katherine earned the game dinosaur with a sick grab out in right field, but I think most of the highlights were from the other team so we won't talk about that. We bounced back hard at the bar, took 3rd place points in the bar game, and appear to have a week 1 lead in the Life of the Party standings, and that's BEFORE costume points! Next week we shall be tight, we shall be bright, and we'll probably also be rocking the sweet custom tutus we made at Hayley's place today, because having a brunch and tutu making party is a totally normal team activity.


Just in case you want to look as good as us, I'll include a tutu making tutorial from our very own Hayley Fojtik, or should I say a Tu-tutorial? MMM?


video




Thursday, April 9, 2015

Kickin The Punt - TX Live

We made it! Our rockin’ team of random misfits has made it to the last week of games. We played Sons of Pitches to a last minute tie with lots of jello shots shared between both teams and our ref. We even had jello shots at first for the lucky punters who made it there. Next week the same two teams are at it and the tie may just be broken! Regardless, it’s all in good fun and we look forward to it. MORE JELLO SHOTS ANYONE?????
The craziest part was when over 200 bicyclists showed up from a social ride to take a break on our fields…which was all good because some of the team was just hanging out in the beautiful weather and we were able to start up a game with a few of the bikers. They were kicking with amazing force and we were really wishing they would catch the kickball bug and we could recruit them!
Go Kickin The PUNT!!!

Wednesday, April 8, 2015

Come CRUISIN' with us!


From the East Coast to the West Coast, over 2,000 WAKA players have sailed the high seas for a weekend on non-stop partying.   This year, we're doing it bigger and better, and this time we're coming straight out of Texas!  Join your fellow WAKA players for the most epic party vacation of the year - WAKA'S EPIC CRUISE TO MEXICO - a 5 day adventure to the beautiful shores of Mexico.   Sailing August 20th to 24th, it's only a $150 deposit to save your spot.  Sign up today at www.kickball.com/txcruise

Join the facebook event to see all the awesome updates, theme ideas, all you can drink packages, and free parties!
www.facebook.com/events/1562018554078198/

Thursday, March 26, 2015

Relax and Let It Happen - TX Live

In this week’s GMOT, I would like to discuss the topic of beauty. As far as I know, there are two major types of beauty – internal and external. In typical Relax fashion, we have an overwhelming quantity of both.

The external component is obvious. When I see post-championship photos of our team, smiles abreast the group, pointing in unified strength, I get chills. It reminds me of Team Iceland from D2. Not only are our bis, tris and glutes chiseled straight from marble, but our ancestry has gifted us with piercing blue eyes and shiny blond flow (metaphorically, of course).

But internally is where our beauty burns at its fiercest flame. Beyond Relax’s more obvious catchphrase, there are another few words that guide our collective moral compass – generosity of spirit. Relax is constantly giving – to our friends and loved ones, to our fans, to our community and to the world. Instead of hoarding our best qualities and selfishly keeping our best traits close, we spread our glory everywhere we can – like jelly on a freshly toasted English muffin, making sure the fruity goodness fills every nook and cranny we can find.

We’re not asking you to voice your gratitude. We know you appreciate, envy and idolize us. And though we’re not asking you to say thank you out loud, we will say you’re welcome.  You’re welcome for all we have done in the past, what we do real-time in each and every moment, and all we will do for you in the future. We improve every soul we touch with little to no effort – we improve every soul by simply being. Don’t feel pressured to say you owe everything to us. Mama knows child… mama knows.

God bless us, every one – but especially Relax. Smooches y’all.

Wednesday, March 25, 2015

Ball Blastin' Hood Rats - TX Republic

The day is finally here y’all! I don’t know about Box Kicks $aaS, but us Ball Blastin Hood Rats have been looking forward to this game since we first got our schedule. And let me tell you, we are getting pumped like we’re about to go to a 90’s dance party where they’re playing all the hits.
now animated GIF

Why are the Ball Blastin Hood Rats so excited you ask? Well besides the fact that it’s been a whole friggin week since we’ve been able to blast some balls, there’s a special someone on the other side…a former Hood Rat if you will. I believe: “once a Hood Rat, always a Hood Rat”, but he does have an excuse since he was on our team back when we were Snappin Da Base. Regardless, we’re gonna make this game real special/awkward for Box!
dancing animated GIF

Last week we went up against Kick Their Balls, a righteous team of players. For reals, these guys were a blast to play against, even in all the mud. We’re now at 2 and 2 for the season and looking to continue to tack on the wins for better positioning during playoffs. I’m sure Box will be looking to do the same, but I predict that going up against a rowdier-than-normal team of Ball Blasters will not make this the best week for them!

Wednesday, March 11, 2015

Kickin' the Punt - TX Live

Kick in the pink….er I mean PUNT!!

Our mish-mosh of players has proven to be a great collective of folks. Regardless of our playing ability, this team member is just happy to arrive and chat with some other super cool folks. At last week’s nasty cold game most all of our team showed up and thanks to the generous donation of hot (decaf!) coffee we survived the chill to have a fun game. One member even showed up super sick and stuck it out as long as he could! Get better man, we missed you.

We also hope that our original mascot made a noticeable arrival to the league.  Punty has been replicated now and its twin is Pinky. AND, not to be shown up, we have a couple of flying flamingos flapping like hell in the wind and cheering us along. Kickin the Punt has some bad ass pink, long necked, bird like, large billed, beautiful members and supporters. We hope they will be merry and multiply. For the rest of the league NOT wearing bright pink, feel free to come on over and meet our lovely lovers any time. Why not just come on by and meet the team too!

As for the mid season party, it seemed THAT nights cold proved a bit much and we had a smaller showing. Still, pics were tagged, friends were made, pink (BRIGHT pink) was worn, and drinks were drunk all in the name of Punty. Long may he live.

Tuesday, March 3, 2015

Find FAST on the Fields!


With our fingers crossed that it doesn't rain one more drop, we're excited to let you know about a new partner! WAKA sports has partnered with an awesome new drink that you’ll be meeting soon:  First Aid Shot Therapy!  F.A.S.T. is brand new to Austin, sold at HEB.  The idea behind the company is pretty sweet:  they make fast-acting medications that you drink!  In fact, I’m told that their Pain medicine work up to 5 times faster than aspirin alone.  They’re not just for the bumps and bruises of no-holds-barred kickball though, they also make a HANGOVER medication in case you overdo it at happy hour!  Blindsided by a pick-up competitive chicken wing eating contest?  They’ve got an Upset Stomach product as well.  Look for their adorable car on Wednesday and Thursday night at the kickball field, they’ll be passing out sample to keeping you pain-free.




Thursday, February 26, 2015

PurpleSaurus Rex - TX Live

Big "back down to Earth" game for us after we were feeling all pleased with ourselves following our 1-0 win in week 2, as we kinda got dominated all night. Yeah we only had 6 guys available and were playing with 5 of them for a few innings, but damn we gots some work to do to hang in this conference! Fortunately, the Mardi Gras spirit kept us going and we got to show off our strongest assets in sequins and spandex, so the night was far from a net loss!

MVP of the night went to Mr. Clayton Porter, repping the Mardi Gras theme the hardest of them all with his ridiculous get-up, while our on-field woes were offset by what may have been a career performance by Kristie Kelly, who I believe was 3 for 3 with 2 RBIs on offense and made some clutch stops at 3rd base to stop the bleeding.

Huge shout out to Kickin the Punt for absolutely dominating in Life of the Party last week, we're pumped to hand off the belt to a worthy successor and will be doubling down trying to win it back this week!

Speaking of this week, we've got Relax and Let it Happen on the schedule this week. My relationship with this team has gone from adversarial to downright loving in the 4 or so years I've known them.

First time I ever played them, they were short a few ladies and picked up subs from Walks, Teabaggers, and Candy Van to put together a super squad that was full on shitting on our dreams. We were NOT expecting a team on that level and wounded pride combined with (understandably) mistaking Shannon's good-natured shit talking to be some crazy malicious bitch on the sideline, led to me pulling out out the rulebook and pointing out to the ref that they didn't have enough girls to play and the game should be a forfeit. I believe Jay called me a "fucking douchebag" at the plate, I told him I was a "fucking douchebag with a W", and we may have parted ways on not the best terms.

Not the best start! And yet now I love those guys. Since that first game, I've grown steadily more and more fond of their unique brand of fun, and they've been pretty much instrumental in demonstrating to me that taking the game seriously and having a great time are not mutually exclusive.  I've partied with them at Third Base, Shangri-La, G&S Lounge, Gibson Bar, The Park on South Lamar, Vegas clubs at multiple Founders Cups, and LSKO pre-parties for going on five years now, and we'll party with them again tonight (assuming their old asses actually make it to the bar instead of going home to watch Matlock). So here's to you Relax: looking forward to the game tonight.  My only regret that Alex isn't on the roster so she can go 0-3 again.

Relax and Let it Happen - TX Live

This week, we play PurpleSaurus Rex. They are horrible and we will kill them. PurpleSaurus Rex is a team that has been pissing me off for a while now. A few weeks ago, Stephen informed me that there are “fun points” this season, and that Relax had garnered some for simply writing a weekly GMOT – while insinuating that Relax could not possibly ever earn “fun points” in any other way, because we aren’t fun. I don’t know where to find the rankings but I’m willing to bet PurpleSaurus Rex is leading this imaginary “fun race”.

I see this as a fierce injustice that needs to be addressed. PS Rex, just because you wear lady-colored spandex and jewelry and wigs, does that really make you “fun”? Because you carry a mobile speaker blasting Calvin Harris and dance like no one is watching, do you really deserve applause? When it all boils down, all you really are is a more obnoxious version of Relax. Think about it. Relax is having a goddamn blast every time we pull down our pants to shit on this league. Dominating you guys every week is better than an annual pass to Six Flags. Just because we don’t prance and sing and sport the colors of the rainbow, doesn’t mean we aren’t out-funning you in each and every moment of life. Winning is fun – and Relax is ALWAYS winning.

And I get it. It’s not fair for Relax to win EVERY single thing. We live in a world where every kid has to win at something, and participation and sportsmanship awards are handed out like Kind Bars at Whole Foods. So league, have your “fun race”. Have your competition where Relax isn’t in the lead. Have your tiny sliver of sunshine that peeks through our shadow as we lay spread-eagled, basking in the glory of the UV rays. Enjoy. But don’t for one second let yourself be fooled. Relax is STILL better than you at every single aspect of life, including fun.

Can’t wait to see PS Rex on Thursday night. We will outwit, outplay, and outfun you once again. Smooches, y’all.

Kickin the Punt - TX Live

Did any of the other teams notice this season that you don't have some random free agent that no one knows on your team? That's because Kickin the Punt saved the day; we are a team made of solely of free agents/small groups. We love it because we all became friends quickly, but as many of you know it takes time to play well together as team. 

During the first inning of our first game, the other team scored 9 runs!! We lost our first game by a landslide. Our second game wasn't quite as bad, but we still lost. We won our first game last night 8-5. Considering that in previous games 3 runs a game is a big deal to us, we were shocked to not only score 8 but also that we score 6 runs in an inning. 

We are still trying to determine if we are just finally playing as a team or if the addition of crazy mardi gras themed outfits helped us win. It's a little difficult trying to play in masks and wigs. The big play of the night goes to Neil in his Lucha Libre mask making a catch on a pop fly in the outfield. 

We are going to explore the playing a team first before we show up every weekend looking like we might be a little crazy. If you didn't see "Socks" at the field or bar you missed out, she was running around looking like the Mardi Gras version of Rainbow Brite in a wig, mask, flashing glasses, a petticoat, and the infamous beer mode socks.  We heard that she got quite a few strange looks from her neighbors and from people on the drive to the game. 

Win or lose, our team is basically here to have fun and meet new people, so don't be surprised if you see the team in the pink shirts wandering around The Park visiting with other teams. You should stop by our very large table at The Park and say hi to us and our lovely Flamingo mascot Punty!