Dear Diary,
At the end of 2016, I started reevaluating my life and promised myself that when 2017 rolled around I would clean up my dirty habits. You know, less sex, drugs, drinking, and more clean eating. I want to live another billion years after all!
I was determined to stick to the T-Rex Diet:
Then kickball started back up. Along with that came the copious amount of pizza, whiskey, babes, and beer.
How in the hell am I supposed to be speedo ready in a month?!
Not to mention, January and February have been jam-packed with birthdays! How do I join in on the fun when I can't party?! (Obviously the answer is to say "eff it" and party.)
Then, in a miracle that could have only happened in a galaxy far, far away, my team won a game!
I was so excited...I peed.
Not my proudest moment, Diary. Luckily, the team didn't notice because they were too busy celebrating. *whew*
Love,
Denver
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