Ok ok ok this week we play Teabaggers and we barely have anything to say at all. We want to hate them so bad, but we just can’t fully commit to it. We also cannot love them. Sorry, we just can’t. And on this hallowed day of our Saint Valentine, it would be a treacherous lie to say that we do.
The Teabaggers are literally the most boring team in Capital. They are so boring that Val wrote Candyvan’s GMOT about Candyvan’s own Tom Hallock last week, instead of wasting even one minute of her precious life thinking about them. Playing Teabaggers is like eating at Applebee’s. It’s LITERALLY whatever.
Don’t get me wrong, you guys are so sweet and your parents really love you. But you’re just not a hot bitch that everyone wants to bang. We like you, but we’re not super into you. You were born and will die in the “friendzone”, and will likely one day become the wife of a slightly overweight utterly average once Subway Sandwich Artist turned Associate Regional Franchise Manager who drives a 2004 sandy beach metallic Toyota Corolla. So don’t try too hard or exert yourselves too much – it’s really not worth it. Probably best to just relax and let it happen.