After what seems like our billionth league championship,
Relax is back for another season to show you guys how this game should be
played. That draft mumbo jumbo would’ve been fun – each Capital team could’ve
inherited a small number of Relax players/coaches/trainers/
We’ve got some newcomers that we’re excited about. This
chick Jen, who has a volleyball trophy for every time Tanker has not sealed the
deal with a hot girl, some dude named Nolan who hails from Poughkeepsie NY (SO
DOES SNOOKI), some dude Kye which rhymes with Ty and who happens to be Ty’s
friend, some dude named Jeb who is Ryan Logue’s friend and thus, the wildcard, and…….
OMG……. AND……. The esteemed Mr. Andre Rodgers. A man full of so much shit that he
changed his middle name to Hussein on Facebook just to see who was racist
enough to judge. A man who has talked more shit to Relax than any other person
out there. A man who himself now exemplifies the sage words, “If you can’t beat
‘em, join ‘em.” Well done Dre, we’re already proud of you.
There are a few things I can promise you this season. #1, we’re
going to have some laughs and have some fun. You guys are gonna get beat but
just put a smile on and have fun with it – you’ll be okay. #2, we will win our
billion-and-oneth league championship. And #3, we’re going to shit all over that
new “team”, “Strides of Pride”. Goodnight and god bless, everyone. As ONE of our
black friends would say (we have two now), smoochies and coochies y’all.
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