Usually after we dominate the Walks, I make the "we made you take the Walk of Shame" joke. But I can't even joke right now. This is f***ing serious. Walk of Shame used to be an average to above avg team. What happened? Did Tanker mean that much to your team? He was a good pitcher and people had to earn their way on base, but damn!!! These days, anyone can get on. They had 3 to 4 different pitchers against us and each one was worse than the person before them.
You guys could never really produce runs, but you were good at defense. Why would you put Dre in the outfield?! Who made that decision? There needs to be some accountability on this team because it's slowly going to the shitter and it's sad. No leadership! No direction! Why are you guys going in the wrong direction as a team?
Walk of Shame is like that girl that is slowly blossoming into a good looking girl. She was the smelly girl in elementary school, but in middle school she started to shower, sprouted some bitties, and got braces to fix the triple gap she was sporting. You think to yourself, one day, this below average chick will grow up to be doable. You even mark it on your google calendar to holler at her in 2 years. Then all of a sudden, you come back to school after summer and BAM, she's all fugged out all over again. Her youthful boobs are sad and droopy. She smells bad again. She ate popcorn and drank coke everyday with her braces so now her teeth are just gross. Like the Walks, she showed so much promise at one point, but now she's a sad sight. You IMMEDIATELY delete your google calendar reminder.
You know there's a pretty girl under the matted hair and pimples, but you'll probably never see it again. Get it together Walks! Dre get your team in order! Alex, jump ship before you drown! Drowning is not fun!
Shout out to Sam, the newest member of Relax adding to our already stellar collection of superior athletes. Where do we keep finding these people? Don't answer that question it was rhetorical!
Wish us luck in Vegas. We're currently ranked #1 in Texas and #4 in the world. Come watch our games to help get your team better. Ask the Teabaggers, it works! Kinda. Until then, Relax and Let it Happen