Relax and Let it Happen

Candy Van likes to have fun. They like to wear capes, weird socks, go shirtless, and just be goofy. But don't believe them. I have a theory. It's all a front. They want you to believe they don't care. They dress that way so that when they win, they can say HAHAHAHAHA WE BEAT YOU AND WE DON'T EVEN CARE! SEE, WE'LL PROVE IT TO YOU BY JUMPING AROUND AND MAKING WEIRD UNICORN NOISES. But when they lose, they can counter that with HAHAHAHAHA, WE LOST BUT WE DON'T EVEN CARE! SEE, LOOK AT HOW GOOFY WE ACT!!

That worked at first because let's face it, they weren't that good. They had OK players, sure, but nothing else. In the last 3 or 4 seasons they've started pushing the Teabaggers for that second place spot behind us and now no one believes their charade. Everyone knows Tom is one of the best players in the league. Definitely Relax material. Foxy is quick, he's got Relax writen all over him. They have athletes all over the field. It's time they start taking on the responsibilities that come with being a top three team in the league. The costumes, the fun, the laughing, etc., that can stay, but start backing it up with your play, guys.

You're not living up to your potential and it stopped being funny like 2 seasons ago. Now you're just letting your talent go to waste and it's sad. You failed to score against us, and your defense let you down. But, that's what always happens right? Consider yourselves warned Relax will be forced to rescue the talent on your team if you don't make some noise come playoff time!

Next week we play Liver Let Die. The average age is around 45 but they play like they're 40 and that is something that they can hang their Depends on. Come out early and watch us continue to dominate. Until then, Relax and Let it Happen.