JIMINY KICKITS

KNOX AT BAT

The outlook wasn't brilliant for the Austin seventeen that day;

The score stood one to one, with one inning more to play,

And then when Kaitlyn singled to third and Jeff did the same,

A pall-like silence fell upon the drunkards at the game.

A straggling few got up to go get more beer from their multifarious ice chests,

The rest clung to hope that the really drunk chick would show her breasts;

They thought, "If only Knox could but get a kick at that --

Maybe we won't tie for the third fucking game in a row, with Knox at the bat.

Then from twenty some-odd throats and more there rose a drunken yell;

Everyone still remembering the time Bradley Slater fell;

It pounded on the taco truck and recoiled upon the flat,

For Knox, mighty Knox, was advancing to the bat.

There was ease in Knox's manner as he stepped into his place;

There was beer in Knox's hand and a smile lit Knox's face.

And when, responding to the cheers, he lightly doffed his hat,

No stranger in the crowd could doubt 'twas Knox at the bat.

More than fifty beer cans sat empty, tossed into the back of his Ford.

Some spectator kept complaining to the ref, clutching purse and clipboard.

Then while the writhing pitcher ground the ball into his hip,

Defiance flashed in Knox's eye, a sneer curled Knox's lip.

And now the rubber sphere came hurtling through the muggy air,

And Knox stood a-watching it in haughty grandeur there.

Close by the sturdy kicker the ball unheeded sped -

"That pitch ain't shit," said Knox. "Ball one!" the umpire said.

The sneer has fled from Knox's lip, the teeth are clenched in hate;

He lined up facing right field, back and to the left of the plate.

And now the pitcher holds the ball, and now he gives it a flick

And now the air is shattered by the force of Knox's kick.

Oh, somewhere in this favored land the sun is shining bright,

The iPod is playing somewhere, and somewhere the Miller is Lite,

And somewhere men are laughing, and little children shout;

But there is no joy in South Austin - mighty Knox has just...RIPPED THE BALL DOWN THE RIGHT FIELD LINE! HOLY SHIT! TWO RUNS ARE GONNA SCORE! KNOX HAS A TRIPLE!

And by the time the game was over, the Kickits had their four to one win;

Everyone in new dark green shirts displayed a winner’s grin.

Heading to Third Base for the night, the drink specials they would reap,

For they just showed their fallen foes that day how they always go BALLS DEEP!