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Wednesday, June 22, 2011
The Jiminy Kickits have decided to be progressive. We understand that when you pit a pair of combatants against each other, the popular outcome is to have a winner and a loser. Because of our advanced knowledge of human feelings, we have decided that having both a winner and a loser would be offensive to at least one person on either team. Tapping into the trends of our current society, we have concluded among ourselves that we do not wish to offend anyone due to the problems that come with the aforementioned offending. Our new stance on kickball is that neither team shall be labeled a "winner" or "loser", so we are advocating playing each contest to a tie. Which is why we are undefeated through two contests, and stand neutrally at 0-0-2 in the standings.
One the other hand, we have taken a team vote and decided to offend our fellow teammate, Bradley Slater. Bradley Slater is the victim of one of the worst at-bats in the two game history of the Jiminy Kickits 2011 Summer TX Live season. Our own former high school varsity bench sitter brought his extensive knowledge of watching batters from the dugout to the plate, and proceeded to combine the rare "swing and a miss" with an attempt to slide into first base that came a Valerie Powell short of reaching the base safely. Not only did the opponent make the force out at first, but also tagged Mr. Slater at the behest of his own team, stripping him of the remaining dignity that clutched to his very soul.