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Wednesday, June 27, 2012

D Bags

Team Douchebag is coming off a bye week in which we picked up a tally in the win column. Why? No reason besides just knowing we were all winning in our own ways. I have no idea what everyone was doing but I can assume Trey and Kelsey were busy flaunting their physical presences as a wedded couple. There is a good chance Hunter got in some rage workouts while brushing off gym hos. It would be absurd not to think Caroline, Jenna, and Monica weren't making it rain in a Tour de Le Bare while prepping for Channing Tatum's upcoming stripper flick (we are in contract negotiations with that douche Channing for Fall season). God knows Hutch has been pop, locking and dropping at Paradise since last Thursday. Russ most likely drank his weight in scotch while filling in as King of Lake Austin. I can confirm that Jeramy and I made Crystal Beach our bitch this past weekend; you can't step foot on that peninsula without stepping in out vomit.

It's hard to stop talking about us but I guess I'll mention our game this week against Relax. First, we are confused of why it was a big deal that we beat teabaggers.... Just another day at the office. Second, we are a little weary about who Relax really is. We find the whole structure of their organization quite strange. There seems to be an unusual amount of young boys who keep getting cycled through their team with a few regulars who apparently are satisfied customers. The whole thing raises suspicion, especially with the "Relax and Let It Happen" title. Talk about putting it out there. If you don't believe me, watch the way Jay talks to his "players" and how they cower to his demands. Let's see how well y'all did on the SAT analogy section...

Jay : the rest of relax as Sandusky : _______

A.) pandas
B.) The Democatic Party
C.) philanthropists
D.) 49 little boys

Do you know what "D" answer is?

We look forward to seeing all you sweeties Thursday!

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