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Thursday, April 19, 2012

Relax and Let it Happen


Dear Slampieces,
We get it. When playing against a dynasty such as ourselves, teams tend to do one of a few things:

1. Try hard, and ultimately take their ass whipping like a champ.
2. Give up after the first inning and ultimately take their ass whipping.
3. Bitch. Complain. Cry. Embarrass themselves. Come up with excuses. Watch us during the next game quietly talking shit while taking notes at how we do things at the same time.

Sadly, Slampieces, you chose to go with #3. Incessantly complaining about a team bunting is old and all around pitiful. Not to mention, dumb. Didn't you realize that the only run you guys scored on us in our 9-1 game, was started by a fast guy who bunted and ran the bases well?

As we ran around the bases and celebrated, your first basemen, who seemed like a nice guy, asked me if we had any fun. I told him that a heavy dose of bunting is the reason why we're having fun. You bunt, you speed to first, maybe there's an overthrow, you run to second, shit gets crazy. You try to kick the ball as hard as you can, you jog to first while someone yawns and catches your pop fly. This isn't Rocket Science?!?!

But to the Slampieces, it was. Which sucks because ya'll have a nice batch of athletic guys, and some of your girls weren't bad either. And we're not the only team that bunts. We used to be, but people got tired of losing. So, please, keep watching us, and keep taking notes. The Teabaggers did it. CandyVan did it, and look at them. They'll never be as good as us, but they've definitely improved. They learned how to bunt and they recruited fast players.

In closing, please get to know us. We come off as douchebags but we just like to win. Want to roll the ball and see how far you can kick it until someone inevitably catches it? Go to zilker and play with some hippies. Or maybe even ASSC. Until then, just Relax and Let it Happen.


p.s. Suck My Kick, you tried hard and took it like a champ. Well done.

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