FACTS:
1. Candy Van is creepy.
2. Candy Van creeps ALL the time.
3. The purpose of the Candy Van is to flip out and play kickball.
WEAPONS:
TESTIMONIAL:
Candy Van can creep on anyone they want! Candy Van parties ALL the time and doesn't even think twice about it. These guys are so crazy and awesome that they flip out ALL the time. I heard that there was this Candy Vanner who set his beer on the side lines. And when some dude knocked it over the Candy Vanner humped the whole team. My friend said that he saw a Candy Vanner totally uppercut Jay just because the kid yelled "You're out of the league!"
And that's what I call REAL Ultimate Power!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
If you don't believe that Candy Van has REAL Ultimate Power you better get a life right now or they will hump your head off!!! It's an easy choice, if you ask me.
Candy Van is sooooooooooo sweet that I want to crap my pants. I can't believe it sometimes, but I feel it inside my heart. These guys are totally awesome and that's a fact. Candy Van is fast, smooth, cool, strong, powerful, and sweet. I can't wait to start kickball next year. I love Candy Van with all of my body (including my pee pee).
Q & A:
Q: Why is everyone so obsessed about Candy Van?
A: Candy Van is the ultimate paradox. On the one hand they're wasted, but on the other hand, Candy Van are great athletes.
Q: I heard that Candy Van is always cruel or mean. What's their problem?
A: Whoever told you that is a total liar. Just like other mammals, Candy Van can be mean OR totally awesome.
Q: What does Candy Van do when they're not humping off heads or flipping out?
A: Most of their free time is spent creepin', but sometimes they RAGE. (Ask Captain DBAG if you don't believe me.)
(If you don't get this reference, it's from The Official Ninja Webpage. Also, if you didn't get this reference, come and see Valerie and let her know so she can chop you right in the face.)
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