Relax is back, and as always, we’re coming in hot. Apparently we’re playing some new team called Pitch Slapped. All I know is the team’s full of jabronis who think they’re going to be good. And they may be good. Unfortunately for them, we will be better. It’s tough for anyone to come out and face the 8th ranked team in the nation in their first week of Texas Live. Top 8. Did you catch that? In the NATION. And that's being humble. Some would say we're even higher. “But wait… what? I thought this was like, kickball. For fun!” Aww, sorry Pitch Slapped. Sorry we’re not sorry – we were taught to NEVER apologize for greatness. Because we are athletes. We’re the 8th ranked team in the nation, and probably the top 20 humans in this entire league (for our performances at life in general, not just kickball).
Yes, this is coming on a little strong, but we took a season off so we just want to be clear – Relax is back. Not a redesigned, 2.0 version of Relax. Not a “nicer” version of Relax. Not a team with new players and a new attitude. Relax is back, the Relax you know and the Relax you’ve always wished were a part of. Pitch Slapped, we love you already. Can’t wait to see you out there and shit all over your adorable dreams. Smooches, y’all.