Relax is back, and as always, we’re coming in hot.
Apparently we’re playing some new team called Pitch Slapped. All I know
is the
team’s full of jabronis who think they’re going to be good. And they may
be
good. Unfortunately for them, we will be better. It’s tough for anyone
to come
out and face the 8th ranked team in the nation in their first week of
Texas Live.
Top 8. Did you catch that? In the NATION. And that's being humble. Some
would say we're even higher. “But wait… what? I thought this was
like, kickball. For fun!” Aww, sorry Pitch Slapped. Sorry we’re not
sorry – we were
taught to NEVER apologize for greatness. Because we are athletes. We’re
the 8th ranked team in the nation, and probably the top 20 humans in
this entire league (for
our performances at life in general, not just kickball).
Yes, this is coming on a little strong, but we took a season
off so we just want to be clear – Relax is back. Not a redesigned, 2.0 version
of Relax. Not a “nicer” version of Relax. Not a team with new players and a new
attitude. Relax is back, the Relax you know and the Relax you’ve always wished
were a part of. Pitch Slapped, we love you already. Can’t wait to see you out
there and shit all over your adorable dreams. Smooches, y’all.
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