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Thursday, October 27, 2011


Kickballers, Roboapocalypse deniers, and robot haters: The Roboapocalypse is coming, whether you believe it or are ready for it. Last week's episode of Always Sunny even mentioned it, and we all know that everything we see on TV is true/comes true at some point. So what's a bone bag like yourself supposed to do to survive the fiery fate of the human race? Well, if you're like me, you'll get a robot brand on your body to prove that you are a robot sympathizer. Or you can go all motha' frackin' Gaius Baltar on the humans and give our security codes away to some hot blonde Cylon skin job. Both of those options too extreme/nerdy? TOO BAD. Just kidding, there's a third way: make yourself a handy dandy robot costume to throw on when the robots rebel! I'm not going to insult your intelligence by telling you how to make a robot costume (google that shit). I do, however, have three other tips to help you after you've created your disguise:

1. Say "affirmative" instead of "yes." (Unless you know the other robot really well.)
2. Perfect your robot dance. (No brainer.)
3. Start pillaging old people's medicine and consuming it in large quantities. (Robots eat old people's medicine for fuel.)

So, there you have it: your robot costume, your tolerance for viagra, and your sweet, sweet robo boogie should* save you from the roboapocalypse. 

*Robotkicks does not guarantee that you will be spared during the robotic uprising. 

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