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Thursday, August 4, 2011

Better Red than Blue Balls

After riding a two week high with a tie against the Bachelors (then #5
in Capital) and a win over Hannah Montana (then #1 in Live), things
were looking up for a team that started the season 0-4. But then,
disaster struck in the form of two players running out of gas on their
way to the game and Luis playing the role of the WAKA Infraction

Alas, when game time rolled around, we only had three females present
and our attempts to recruit a substitute were foiled (pro-tip: if
you're going to recruit a player, try not to recruit one who plays on
your ref's team). We would have to forfeit the game.

We were still allowed to play (with our 4th girl substitute), but the
game would not count. No problem, on paper Suck My Kick should have
beaten us decisively and with nothing on the line, all systems were
set to drinking. Some of our teammates were filled with bitterness,
which was nothing that our good friend alcohol couldn't fix. But then,
something amazing happened. We won, 1-0. We shut out the 4th best team
in the league with half a roster... now that DQ stings a little.

Not to worry though, for in the same way that people won't forget that
USC beat Oklahoma in the 2005 Orange Bowl, that Ohio State beat
Arkansas in the 2011 Sugar Bowl or that John Calipari has 500 wins; we
won't forget that we beat Suck My Kick in 2011. The record books may
not indicate it, but everyone on the field will remember.

We've got a bye this week, but will return with a full head of steam
to close out the season against Off in Left Field, whose name is only
funny if you beat them.

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