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Thursday, August 4, 2011
Better Red than Blue Balls
After riding a two week high with a tie against the Bachelors (then #5 in Capital) and a win over Hannah Montana (then #1 in Live), things were looking up for a team that started the season 0-4. But then, disaster struck in the form of two players running out of gas on their way to the game and Luis playing the role of the WAKA Infraction Committee. Alas, when game time rolled around, we only had three females present and our attempts to recruit a substitute were foiled (pro-tip: if you're going to recruit a player, try not to recruit one who plays on your ref's team). We would have to forfeit the game. We were still allowed to play (with our 4th girl substitute), but the game would not count. No problem, on paper Suck My Kick should have beaten us decisively and with nothing on the line, all systems were set to drinking. Some of our teammates were filled with bitterness, which was nothing that our good friend alcohol couldn't fix. But then, something amazing happened. We won, 1-0. We shut out the 4th best team in the league with half a roster... now that DQ stings a little. Not to worry though, for in the same way that people won't forget that USC beat Oklahoma in the 2005 Orange Bowl, that Ohio State beat Arkansas in the 2011 Sugar Bowl or that John Calipari has 500 wins; we won't forget that we beat Suck My Kick in 2011. The record books may not indicate it, but everyone on the field will remember. We've got a bye this week, but will return with a full head of steam to close out the season against Off in Left Field, whose name is only funny if you beat them.