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Wednesday, July 17, 2013

Relax and Let It Happen

A lot has happened since we were all last together. Please see below for the play by play.

1. Remember the GMOT Valerie wrote a few weeks ago when we played Candy Van? Remember how she whined about how Relax is no fun and maybe we should go to the bar one time in our lives? Remember how she said Candy Van was so much more American than us? Okay, well now do you remember how we beat Candy Van while we got drunk and berated them with shit talk? What’s more American than that I ask you? Remember how we had about 8 people at the bar, and they had closer to 2? You’re right CV, we surrender. You guys are so fun and cool. Suck it.

2. Relax took a travel squad to the great city of San Diego for the 4th of July weekend (vacationing in honor of our nation’s independence is also TREMENDOUSLY American might I add). We came, we saw, and we conquered, kicking all kinds of elite kickball ass and taking home the SDKO title and a fat check as well. Shit proceeded to get really weird – there was bottle service, blacking out, throwing up, and then there was a 7AM flight back to Austin. Best, worst day of our collective life.

3. Last weekend, we took a rag tag group of WAKA kickballers down to the Del Valle jail grounds and won another title in the Relax name. We found a ton of new friends from all kinds of socio-economic backgrounds, and made big strides for the Caucasian race, so I’m pretty proud of us overall.

This week we’re glad to be back at Gillis. We don’t care who we play and we know we will win. What we DO care about is that it’s our semi-loved leader’s day of birth. We’re gonna baptize Jay’s mouth with holy Vaderade straight from the blessed Mug. Feel free to come by and join in the festivities. Sure, we’ll probably talk shit about your un-athletic ability and lack of competitive spirit as you walk away, but what do you really expect? Can’t wait. Smooches, y’all.

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