CANDY VAN

Let's just get one thing straight here, kickballers: this GMOT entry is going to be about as well-intentioned as the following photo: maybe we didn't really plan it out or think about the long term consequences, but we're still pretty sure that right now, at this VERY moment, it's just plain sexy.

Bowl cuts: 100% sex appeal.

Candy Van has a bye this week while Relax borrows two of our players to try to win some tournament in Georgia. Good luck trying to contain not only the wildcard that is Joey (YOU CAN'T CAGE THAT BIRD), but also the fairly creepy combination of Joey, Tom, and Hutch. All I know is this: with that group together, someone's getting pregnant.

So, since I have nothing else to talk about, I'm just going to relive the awesomeness that was my SXSW:

First, I saw Bear Mountain and meant some boys from Amsterdam that were very tall and gave me the weirdest lady boner:

Glowing eyes are all the rage in the Netherlands.

The next day I saw a Candy Van-approved band called Little Children.

SPOILER ALERT: they were actually adults.

Then that night when we were watching CHVRCHES and NO CEREMONY///, I ran into the lead singer of Geographer and talked to him for awhile. I managed to keep my fan-girling to a minimum and just had a normal conversation with him, but I still made him take a picture with me.

Yes, that is a Freedom Eagle on my shirt and yes, he is happy to see you.

Then Karla and I had Fireball and I made the singer from Duologue take a picture with us.

The idea was to make the most awkward faces possible.

Funeral Suits pointed at the camera. I almost had to punch them to teach them a lesson.

"I heard pointing at the camera was all the rage in Austin." -Nobody

After I fan-girled NO CEREMONY/// so hard they gave me their set list, I ran into Ólafur Arnalds on the street and drunkenly fan girled him.

I'm pretty sure I told him I'd like to make beautiful music with him.

Then I ended SXSW with a dance party at Humans where they gave me a free beer, told the crowd they loved Hippohonk, and the lead singer jumped off the stage to hug me. And when I thought my night couldn't get any better, we went to see Flume where I somehow managed to make my way to the very front, surrounded by incredibly attractive Australian men who seemed to find me attractive and/or interesting. 

I know this GMOT is really boring and just kind of braggy, but you know what?

Here's me not caring that braggy isn't a word.

BEST WEEK OF MY LIFE.

So really, what I'm trying to say is that this week is depressing because it's not SXSW AND we don't have a kickball game.

LOVE,

Candy Van

p.s. Tanker sucks.