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Tuesday, June 25, 2013

Relax and Let It Happen

Remember the time Justin flipped out because Ty got to 1st base? That was fun. Big shouts to “The Battery” – Alex “Catchin Ain’t Throwin“ Gagarin, Shannon “Hot Hands, Hot Ass” Davis, and Kate “Pitches Be Cray” Rutkowski -  who closed last week’s final inning without hesitation or concern. Were we 100% perfect? No. But we kept it fun and fresh and we got the job done. Many thanks to Kyle ___ who helped us look our very best.  – OMG THIS HAPPENED:

me:  val
Valerie:  kate
me:  ok
kyle what
this guys name
on the team i played last week
Valerie:  tsdtksdlthskldt
me:  tall dude
brown hair
kickball staple
his name is kyle i think
Valerie:  kyle trzaskalski
me:  stfu
is that really a name
Valerie:  yes
big calves dude
me:  prove it
i dont see him on facebook
omg i see him
you are not lying
Now we’re coming up on one of the greatest events of each season - Relax vs. Candy Van. Candy Van is a likeable team, filled with upstanding guys and gals with a lot of great talents and admirable traits. They’re fun to be around and I’m proud to call them my friends. Well, at least the ones whose names I know amiright?

And now I must ask something of you. You - the people of the Democratic Republic of the Capital/Live/Music League of Austin.  For some of our kickball brethren, this is a tough week. Tom, Huntley and Joey don’t know which team to play for. They’re at a proverbial fork in Morality Road. Do they turn their backs on Candy Van? The team that nursed them from the teat, teaching them what kickball, and thus what life, is all about? Or do they shed their new found allegiance to Relax, proving that they’re not really committed to a life of greatness/tyrannical douche-ness? To the great citizens of this league, please take heed. Try to understand the awkward, traumatic decision that lies ahead for these great men. Whichever they decide, be kind and walk a mile in their shoes before you pass judgment. They’re only doing their best, and that’s all anyone can ask.

And to the athletes/competitors/all around superior humans of Relax and Candy Van – let’s go out there and be great on Thursday. Whatever the circumstances, whatever the rosters, let’s give these people the game they pay $72 each season to witness. Love to us all. Smooches, y’all.

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