Manifest Destiny. A concept known well by anyone who took some sort of American History in high school (hopefully that’s all of us). A concept lived and breathed by Relax and Let it Happen. For years we have dominated the Capital league and allowed the rest of you peasants to exist in it, living off our good grace and generous spirit. But the time has come for us to put our foot down. “No more!” we say. “No more.”
It’s now time to stride toward our 2013 Vegas Championship
like our forefathers blazed the Oregon Trail. We’ve got a competitive fire
raging in our souls and we will not be stopped. Some of the lowly paupers of
this league have wised up and traded their previous allegiances for a brighter
future. A better quality of life. We’ve got Slob, Joey, and Tom on this season’s
roster, and while we’re not sure why Huntley’s email is “Ryan_TheNuts” we’re
happy to have him, too. Add in the fleet
of foot Andre Rogers who has decided to stay by our side, and our roster is
We are Columbus, and you are the Indians. Years from now,
people will tell tales of how we all sat around and made nice over dinner, but we
will all know the terror that actually happened. There are several other
examples of mass genocide and tyranny that I could now mention, but let’s not
even go there. Let’s just all understand that Relax is taking over this season.
We’ve got the best talent in the league. We’re going to get what we want, and
we’re not going to be nice about it.
Here’s to hoping you can all still find a way to have fun as we stomp
any aspirations you had for a champion season. Smooches y’all.