Hello Ballers! Your friendly neighborhood Social Coordinator here with an update on tonight's bar game: PONG!
Now, you may notice that I did not say "Beer Pong", I said "Pong". There is a reason for this, and I want to make sure everyone understands it before they start bitching about it at the bar and accusing me of killing fun: Holding a competition in which drinking alcohol is intrinsic to the game and a substantive reward is offered is a violation of TABC (Texas Alcoholic Beverage Commission) policies. This means playing beer pong as we know it, with beer in the cups which you must drink when your opponent hits said cup, would be cause for the bar to lose its liquor license, resulting in all of us getting kicked out forever and all of those wonderful people losing their jobs.
As I'm sure you understand, this is a huge deal and not something we're going to touch with a 10 foot pole. Is it a bullshit draconian policy? Sure, I'll give you that. The person to complain to however is not me, or the staff/managers at The Park at South Lamar, it's your Congressman!
SO, with that in mind, I'm going to have two pong tables set up tonight. On one of them will be the social points challenge: you will have three champions try to hit as many cups as possible in a 10 cup rack (i'll remove made cups in between throws) with 10 throws. Each contestant will get a fresh 10 cup rack to throw at. 1 point per cup made, cumulative score of the three contestants will be compared against the other teams for the standard points (100 for 1st, 95 for 2nd, etc).
On the other table, I'll just leave cups and balls for conventional pong. King of the hill rules, you win you can keep the table and face another challenger. No social points at this table, just for fun!
You may only use water in the cups. I repeat: NO BEER IN THE CUPS. If you happen to have a beer in your hand and happen to take a sip of it when your opponent hits a cup, that's fine, but playing with beer in your cups will get you kicked right out of the bar. And you know who's going to be the jerk if that happens to you? Not me, not the bar staff, but YOU! You're the jerk in this hypothetical scenario that isn't going to happen! Don't be a jerk!
Love you guys, let's play like champions today.