I would say that our domination in the Life of the Party standings is downright embarrassing for the other teams who consider themselves willing and able to “party hard,” but that phrase just doesn’t encompass the magnitude of the situation. Let me attempt to further elaborate on just how much ass we are kicking in this category with a series of team-related metaphors.
Alcaballics like to party, and we can attest to this as they are our partiers in crime and we love them very, very much. When it comes down to brass tacks, though, we are currently on a different level. We are the AA group of Alcaballics partying destruction. Our prowess is such that it is apparently driving them to sobriety, and that just plain scares me.
Purplesaurus, party extraordinaires, party royalty, never give up never surrender…partying. It used to be that Purple only partied on days ending in “y,” but now it seems like maybe they only party on days starting with “never.” Evolution has driven these beautiful dinos into irrelevance in the LotP standings. Simply put we are the 100 mi diameter meteor that ended the golden age of velociraptors jumping on T-rexs as buildings crumbled around them. Stephen can’t do it by himself people, although he almost does.
What can I say about Kick in the Punt that hasn’t already been written all over the stalls at the bar? They quickly shot to stardom last season in an incendiary win as first ever TX Live Life of the Party. As has become painfully obvious this season, we are the chastity belt that keeps these PUNTs at bay. While the PUNTs are our closest competition, that’s like saying milk is close to ice cream. It just isn’t.
So let’s see what you’ve got TX Live. We want to party you hard. We want your tired, your hungry and your sober. We want to rock your world. We want to touch you in places you didn’t realize existed, except this time we don’t want to go to jail for it. Come to the bar. Come feel our belt. Come feel our power. Come prepared for mouth kisses. Just come.