Look, when Papa Jay tells you to write a GMOT, you write a GMOT. I don't
want his mug of fury raining down terror and drunken slurs on me. Plus, this
week's game will be RIPE with good times, so I probably ought to get the HYPE
machine going anyway.
This week, we face Hannah Montana: the other team in the league who likes
making jokes about the sexuality of underage kids with passionate adult
feelings. But, that's not what's important. What IS important is our decision to
have a theme: AMERICA. Candy Van will be showing our favorite country's pride by
shotgunning beers and having a bald eagle in our dugout. We'll probably let him
pitch, too. And we'll yell things like "F-ck Canada," "YOU MAD, BRO," "SUPERSIZE
IT," and "YO, GATORADE ME,
B-TCH." My guess is that Matty A will be sporting an American flag man thong
and Elizabeth "Demon Ginger" K will be wondering what the H she got herself
into. Me? I'm probably going a different route: American Gladiator. Mostly
because I want to wear my silver leggings. DON'T HATE.
I'll leave you with this image from theoatmeal.com:
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