Hannah

Hannah Montana has officially made its Capital debut with a 2-1 victory over the up & coming Big League Chew. It has been a slow start (2-0) for the very seasoned ex-live team, but we are gaining momentum!! Hannah has never been known for its blow-outs, but we will find a way to beat you; drunk or super drunk we are victorious!! This week we will be facing one of our favorite Capital Teams, Candy Van. This will be a classy show down as both teams will inevitably be blacked-out by the 3rd inning. Win or lose, the evening will be a creepy fun time!!

 Slutty as always,
 Miley

Awful Waffles

People always ask us, the awful waffles, a bunch of questions like "how are you guys so awesome?" and "how are you guys so cool?".  We understand, we're really awesome and really cool.  But to elaborate moreso, here is a sample Q&A to learn more about us, your awful waffles:

Q: Your team is obviously amazing.  How did you get to all be so good at kickball?
A: Our athletic background comes from a variety of sources.  Kickball wise, we all have different experience levels.  Some of us like Bit Waffle and Cowboy Waffle have played for many years through that large balled league and are seasoned veterans of WAKA and others like Dog in a Dog Costume waffle and Chicken -n- Waffles are plucky young rookies of kickball.  Talent wise, our pitcher is a scratch bowler in the mid-200s and other waffles have lots of experience in football, soccer, basketball, softball, and frisbee.  Be afraid.

Q: What's your team name all about?  Everyone knows that waffles are good and are not awful.
A: This upsets me that I have to explain this.  It's not my fault you didn't have cable.  Awful waffles rose to prominence in the phenomenal early 1990's Nickelodeon TV show Salute Your Shorts (it's criminal this has never been released on DVD).  I'm not going into the details but the dreaded awful waffle involves a fair amount of unblemished skin, about a gallon or so of maple syrup and a standard tennis racket (a badminton racket can be substituted in a pinch but it is generally not recommended).  Just remember:

Q: What's with the waffle names?
A: Last year we were assigned white as a color and rather than be lame, we decided to tie dye our shirts and they were amazing (you probably saw us if you played last year.  Clearly we were the best dressed).   Well we got white again as a color and instead of repeating the tie dye and resting on our laurels, we decided to do something better.  Something memorable.  Something that needs to be seen to be believed. Come check us out when you can and if you call us by the associated names, you'll surely get a tip of the hat, an emphatic high five, or possibly even a beer:

Alyssa: Saucy Waffle
Abby: Artsy Waffle
Amy: MMMBurger
Guenther: Sheriff Waffle
Carrie: Unicorn Rampage
Chase: Chicken -n- Waffles
Goryl: Traditional Waffle
Cole: Colestack
Damon: Greek (Γρεεκ) Waffle
Kacie: McKadillac Pimpin' Waffle
Laney: Phishin' for Waffles
Burnham: Bit Waffle
Mike: Linsanity Waffle
Pedram: Dog in a Dog Costume Waffle
Ben: Cartman Waffle
Tanner: The Most Interesting Waffle in the World

Q: So just how badass are you guys?

A: This much:

Relax and Let it Happen

What makes a kickball league successful? Is it the star players, like myself? Is it the money that gets pumped into it season after season? Is it the opportunity to watch people who have no business playing any kind of sport embarrass themselves? One could argue for all of those factors and more. The truth is that a good ol' fashioned rivalry is what makes a kickball league, and any league for that matter, successful. 

The Teabaggers aka the Buffalo Bills of WAKA, are our rival. They're the right mix of talent, effort, and experience to continue to get thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis close to beating us. Last thursday, the Teabaggers played a great game, and we played a not so great game. What happened was a 4-4 tie that went to extra innings. 

You might've noticed the speed of both teams. You might've noticed the competitive nature that each team had. But did you notice the stands?! We have legitimate stands now, and they were packed. Relax should get 30% of the proceeds that WAKA gets. Teams have been and continue to be made to bring us down. It won't happen, but in the process more money will pour into the WAKA pockets. 

To Waka, you're welcome. 

To Teabaggers, you should've done better. 

To everyone else, Relax and Let it Happen. 

Kicks Like Jesus

It's raining runs in the KLJ camp, and I attribute it to clean livin', our lord and savior, and perfectly executed synchronized Tebows. Actually it's probably the post game cramp preventing pickle shots, and the intense dragon breath permanently produced from their consumption. It's the perfect formula for success really. 

1) Pickle shot 

2) Kick ball 

3) Breathe 

4) Coast home past the fallen soldiers

Also Madd Dawg Maddie managed to fall only once this game, and we couldn't be more proud. Keeping it graceful. Kyle WoodHAM only showed up twenty minutes late this time. Also impressive considering his rigorous time consuming weight gain 50,000 program. After all, those hundred pound dumbbells aren't going to curl themselves. Welcome to the gun show. After bunting himself to third and booting in a triple, I'm convinced Jesus is on Paul Vincent Bobba's side. PVB = MVP. Celebrate with RBV*. Done.

After crushing the "capital" Slampieces last night @ something like 10-1 (winning this hard causes you to lose count), I have one thing to say to "Whiskey Kick" next week:

* Red Bull Vodka

We Don't Even Like Kickball

We Don’t Even Like Kickball, but….we’re kickin’ ass and taking names.

Although we’re new to the WAKA league, this isn’t WDELK’s first rodeo.  Our team formed last year, on a beautiful Thursday evening in March. We all showed up to our first game loaded with Miller Lite’s, a Gatorade cooler filled with our own recipe of ‘go-go juice’ (thank you honey boo-boo child), and one thing on our mind…WHY IS THIS KICKBALL SO BIG?

After a season of playing with an over-sized kickball, terrible Friday hangovers, tripping over our own feet, questionable child molester teammates, and shot-gunning King Cobras, we managed to come in second place in the championship. Which is funny, because we don’t even like kickball…

Since most of us were tired of the over-sized kickball and not being able to smoke cigs while playin’ in the outfield, we decided it was definitely time to switch leagues.

WAKA…get ready.

Now that we have a solid team consisting of a few new, but very athletic people (two girls who have run marathons, which is 26 more miles than anyone on WDELK’s original team), an Italian Stallion who goes by the name ‘Manlove,’ and of course our OG crew…Home-Run Blathrae, Kickin’ Kate, Captain Maddy, MVP Kev, ‘I’ve got every position covered’ John, and everyone’s favorite flower child…Hammerin’ Hippie Hope.

So, even though we have this week off physically, mentally…we are ALWAYS preparing for our next opponents. Plus, this gives us extra time to conjure up the PERFECT playlist for our games, complete with individual songs for each player when they strut up to the plate. We’re thinking lots of Katy Perry, Ke$ha, GaGa, and of course, Whitney (RIP, girl, RIP).

We look forward to seeing you all out on the field next Thursday. Come over and listen to our sweet jamz, grab one of our brews, and be ready to probably shotgun it because that’s how we roll – go big or…don’t, and just keep drinking!

Candy Van

We're back... and creepier than ever. After two seasons experimenting with another color, we're back: PURPLE CREEPIN UP AT KREIG. 

Tonight we take on Delta Bravo (the team formerly known as the DBags), and chances are good that both of our teams will black out due to the 8:45 time slot. I mean, Tom and Valerie probably still have large amounts of alcohol in their system from playing kickball/drinking heavily in Ft. Lauderdale. As a special bonus, we'll be bringing out the Drunkest Girl at the Party sash to present to whoever proves themselves worthy of this prestigious award. Here's an example of the Delta Bravo captain sporting the sash and posing like a baller (is that the right word?).

Big League Chew

Last week marked the beginning of something special. Despite severe douchebaggery on the part of our opponents*, Big League Chew jumped onto the kickball scene with a solid defensive performance against the talented Slampieces. We all know that there are no moral victories in kickball, but you couldn't help but feel pride as this newly minted and short handed capital team fought their way through 4 whole innings of kickball (yes, I said 4). A special shout out goes to our wounded warrior, Stephen, who gutted out a fantastic defensive effort, despite the crippling kickball ankle injury he is struggling through. This is the kind of heart that you can expect every time you watch Big League Chew in action.What else should you expect from us for week 2 you ask?

 

1. An entire pack of our name sake in the pitchers cheek during the game

2. The return of flip cup to the fields

3. Some stellar defense

4.  The most incredibly beautiful team that TX Capital has ever seen.

 

and most importantly...

 

5. AN UPSET VICTORY OVER HANNAH MONTANA AND HER SEX TAPE!

 

God Bless Thursdays!

*Yes it is ok to peg someone as they run around the bases. No it is not ok to go dodgeball mode and try to peg a batter as he prepares to kick. I MISS WEINER OF THE WEEK!

Kickin' Back (With a Bunt)

Getting to the fields I had no idea what my team would be like. We had merged with another team just a week before the first game, already after the pick up game. I walked for what must have been hours, until arriving at Field 4. We were broken up into 3 cliques by this point. The PEN15s, The Kickin Backs, and my buddy RIcky's friends, of which about 1/3 of the team may be compromised.
We quickly came together however, as a few of us showed the rest the ropes.We were up against Kickelob Ultra, who the hell is that? We dominated the field! We Kicked! Not just with bunts! It was a resounding success! There was shotgunning, photo taking, and drink planning. We had the early game and were not quite sure what to do with ourselves. Around 7:30 we made it to Shang Ri La in force, only losing a few people to the traffic gods. Then things got fuzzy.

This week I'm bringing my sofa. We're going to stomp faces while kickin back in style.

And we're selling JELLO SHOTS. We dont have a team shirt yet, so just look for dudes with booze, and BRING YOUR CASH

Awful Waffles

Well the season started off on a bit of a down note.  3-1 loss to Hannah.  Not too bad of a deal since a) they're good and b) we were pretty short handed.  No worries though as this week we got the unheard of kickalob ultras.  And although we're still short a few (seriously who takes their honeymoon during kickball season!) we should overcome.  So I'd recommend all of you to say your prayers and take your vitamins because theres nothing else that you can do when Wafflemania runs wild on you!!

KickInABox

To the Front Office of Purplesaurus Rex:

No thanks are necessary regarding the gift of your newest 1st baselady. I’m sure the Dolphins, Redskins, and a few other NFL teams will be sending similar thank you cards and fruit baskets to Jim Irsay when he finally (mercifully) cuts Peyton Manning loose onto the free agent market. As thanks for “not keeping his house in order”, if you will. But we know what he knows. A season ending injury can turn a once great player into a shell of their former self. She may never regain her previous form (love ya Gilson :) And like the Colts, we also know you don’t achieve 9 straight double win seasons without making smart, shrewd roster moves. We made ours, and for that, you are welcome. We also picked up our own “Luck” or two. Besides, she never played 1st for us, but we hear she is AMAZING in the outfield.

As for the game itself. We did a little scouting last week (what, you thought our captain randomly chooses what games to ref just for fun?), and there is clearly talent on the field. Bravo on the recruiting, wow. The new girl from Cali with Founder’s Cup experience? The catcher who was so quick he twice ran out of his cleats? But an MLS caliber player...WTF?!? And don’t even get us started on that giant DBag that pervs around with the other purple team in Capital...wait, our captain creeps around with those weirdos in the van too, nvm. But anyway, we expect a great game. New talent will only take you so far though. Lack of experience and that roster of seemingly 40 payers will bring you down against one of the most experienced teams in Live. ENJOY OPENING THE BOX, YOU WON’T BE DISAPPOINTED!!!

-Love, KickInABox 

We've Got Throws in Different Area Codes

So our team (We've Got Throws in Different Area Codes) and almost everyone on it are completely new to WAKA. Where My Pitches completely crushed us last week (0-15 ouch!) but we had a great time hanging out with them and playing many, many games of flip cup!

Here's what we learned in our first WAKA game:

1.) Go to the bar! If not, you might miss the CEO of WAKA buying 50 tequila shots.

2.) Make a line up and assign positions before you start drinking and it’s hard to count how many guys & girls are on the field.

3.) Flip cup is the greatest drinking game ever.

4.) Kegs are totally appropriate for a 45 min game.

Can't wait for this week! 

Where My Pitches At

Picture brought to you by the first page of Google (because scrolling is hard) and what appears to be a ridiculously old Austin GMOT: http://wakaaustingmot.wordpress.com. AMAZING. You may now rejoice in WAKA history or nostalgia.

How do you truly start the season off right? A solid kickball performance? Old and new friends uniting in one dugout for full on shenanigans? Glitter bombs? FALSE. The correct answer is one of God's greatest gifts and it is called a KEG. Specifically, a keg that has undergone a inexplicably magical transformation and is shared in harmony with your opponents. Allegedly it was Bud Light, but it achieved so much more. Light and fizzy, with a touch of fruit? A sprig of rosemary? I've heard differing reports. Unimportant. The point is, you know a god exists when he makes your beer taste DELICIOUS. Oh, that's all the time? DEBATE WON, applause not necessary. The sweet flip of an empty solo cup on a portable table was enough.

Counting is too hard for me, and scores have numbers, but bottom line, we have a great season ahead of us. A couple great new teammates, a love of cartwheels... the world is your oyster, Charlie Brown! With Hannah Montana off slaying dragons (that's what they do in Capital right? It's got to be more than just Valerie trying to smuggle you into her windowless van), it's time for a new champion! But rather than go off on whimsical cliches, all we're going to say is BE READY.

PurpleSaurus Rex!

The mighty PurpleSaurus has returned and is stalking the most dangerous prey of all: a Live championship. There. I said it. I don't care one IOTA that the vast majority of this team hadn't seen a kickball since the early 90s before last Thursday, it's happening. Our dominant performance last week isn't quite represented by the 5-5 score we put up, but we're going to dwell on the results of what amounts to a tune-up game. The parts are there, and I plan on putting them together this week and raining ultimate destruction down upon KickInABox. Also Luis, thanks for the 1st baselady, sorry you couldn't keep your house in order. BAZINGA.

Unfortunately I was unable to gain access to the the engineering and manufacturing resources necessary to resolving the dexterity issues that have plagued PurpleSaurus Rex since it's inception (http://austinwaka.blogspot.com/2011/10/purplesaurus-rex_11.html), but I did find one thing that our tiny arms can do after a frustrating period of trial and error:

KickInABox and anyone else who holds "fun", "drunk", and "purple" to be important core values is welcome to help themselves to the PurpleSaurus punch at the fields on Thursday, and we look forward to eating you soon!

Love,
Stephen

Welcome to the GMOT!

Welcome one, welcome all to the Spring 2012 season of TX Live and TX Capital! This blog is the Austin Ghost Man On Third, a weekly newsletter in blog format consisting of updates from you guys, the players! To be a part of the fun, just send in a weekly recap of your game, your experience at the bar, some smack talk for the upcoming week, or anything else you want to get out there to waka.gmot@gmail.com! To encourage participation, each team that contributes 10 posts over the course of our 10 week season will get a free round of shots at the End of Season Party! Don't forget you're able (encouraged, even!) to comment on each other's posts.

We're all adults here, but remember that the internet is NOT a private place and try not to post anything you wouldn't want your mother to read. The only thing I'll be screening myself is hate speech, excessive language, and other blatantly abusive behavior, everything else should be taken for what it is: good old fashioned shit talking!

If you're new to the GMOT, scroll down through the archives to see all the great stuff that has been posted over the last few seasons. Enjoy, and happy posting!

Love,

Stephen