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Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Awful Waffles

People always ask us, the awful waffles, a bunch of questions like "how are you guys so awesome?" and "how are you guys so cool?".  We understand, we're really awesome and really cool.  But to elaborate moreso, here is a sample Q&A to learn more about us, your awful waffles:

Q: Your team is obviously amazing.  How did you get to all be so good at kickball?
A: Our athletic background comes from a variety of sources.  Kickball wise, we all have different experience levels.  Some of us like Bit Waffle and Cowboy Waffle have played for many years through that large balled league and are seasoned veterans of WAKA and others like Dog in a Dog Costume waffle and Chicken -n- Waffles are plucky young rookies of kickball.  Talent wise, our pitcher is a scratch bowler in the mid-200s and other waffles have lots of experience in football, soccer, basketball, softball, and frisbee.  Be afraid.

Q: What's your team name all about?  Everyone knows that waffles are good and are not awful.
A: This upsets me that I have to explain this.  It's not my fault you didn't have cable.  Awful waffles rose to prominence in the phenomenal early 1990's Nickelodeon TV show Salute Your Shorts (it's criminal this has never been released on DVD).  I'm not going into the details but the dreaded awful waffle involves a fair amount of unblemished skin, about a gallon or so of maple syrup and a standard tennis racket (a badminton racket can be substituted in a pinch but it is generally not recommended).  Just remember:

Q: What's with the waffle names?
A: Last year we were assigned white as a color and rather than be lame, we decided to tie dye our shirts and they were amazing (you probably saw us if you played last year.  Clearly we were the best dressed).   Well we got white again as a color and instead of repeating the tie dye and resting on our laurels, we decided to do something better.  Something memorable.  Something that needs to be seen to be believed. Come check us out when you can and if you call us by the associated names, you'll surely get a tip of the hat, an emphatic high five, or possibly even a beer:

Alyssa: Saucy Waffle
Abby: Artsy Waffle
Amy: MMMBurger
Guenther: Sheriff Waffle
Carrie: Unicorn Rampage
Chase: Chicken -n- Waffles
Goryl: Traditional Waffle
Cole: Colestack
Damon: Greek (Γρεεκ) Waffle
Kacie: McKadillac Pimpin' Waffle
Laney: Phishin' for Waffles
Burnham: Bit Waffle
Mike: Linsanity Waffle
Pedram: Dog in a Dog Costume Waffle
Ben: Cartman Waffle
Tanner: The Most Interesting Waffle in the World

Q: So just how badass are you guys?

A: This much:

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