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Thursday, February 19, 2015

Relax and Let it Happen - TX Live

Hello, GMOT world. It's me, JG. Some of you may not know me but I've been around the Waka Kickball block a couple of times. I've been #blessed to participate in all of the great pastimes of this storied league: hoisting the championship cup (lost track of how many), laughing at Dre trying to catch routine fly balls, being afraid but secretly excited about what Joey is going to do/say next, and finally, shaking my head as lesser teams (i.e. all teams) try to play on the same level as Relax.

As the guest writer (shouts to K Rut) I'd like to talk about the last point. The lesser team in question this week just so happens to be the Teabaggers. To be honest, I haven't stepped on the fabled fields of glory that is Gillis Park in more than a year, but one thing that'll never change is our complete domination of the Teabaggers. Just to recap, they're the Washington Generals, and we're the Harlem Globetrotters. They're the Bad News Bears, we're the 1985 Chicago Bears (I'm Walter Payton). They're Yoplait yogurt, we're Amy's Ice Cream. You get the point.

This Thursday isn't going to be any different. We're gonna stroll in looking all swagged out, probably warm up or some shit IDK, then we'll track down each and every single dream the Teabaggers have, and promptly shit on them. Last week my colleague Kate said that we'd shit on any dream we found in a 30 mile radius, but this week I'm upping the radius to a gaudy 40 miles. Does that seem impossible to you? Do the logistics of not only locating, but defecating on every dream in a 40 mile radius seem difficult? Well then you're probably not a member of the Relax dynasty.

Our revamped roster is full of talent, beauty and the type of athleticism that only comes around once in a decade or two. Come on by and watch as the Teabaggers get dealt with in their normal fashion. Until then, Relax and Let It Happen, bitches.

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