It’s a nice thing to know you’re wanted and loved. Every time I skip out on writing a GMOT – thinking, who am I to think the good people of this league care to hear from me each week? Who am I but a small blip of a person on this great big earth? And then, I am corrected. The good people of the league seek me out, asking why I deprived them of the solid gold that is a weekly Relax GMOT. They assure me that I am not a mere blip on this earth – I am a literary Adonis and each week isn’t as bright without my sunshine pouring down on their souls.
League – you have been heard. I’ll make a bigger effort to provide you with a weekly GMOT where I tear you to shreds and you keep coming back for more.
Some of you may have noticed that Relax has a huge roster this year. Some of you may have noticed that you recognize less than ¼ of the names on that roster. Some of you may have noticed that the color of our jerseys is as black as the empty pit of our souls. Some of you would be right. But Relax continues to prove that no matter what situation we are presented with, we will always dominate. The moment you join our team, something changes in your body and in your mind. You immediately become a champion. Some aren’t cut out for it. Take Sweet Baby Dre - he could only handle a few seasons of championship. For others, it sticks like glue (see Jeremy, Jimmy and Daniel, joining us for their second season and thirsting more ravenously than ever at the teat of greatness).
We hope the glory will stick for this season’s newbies, because they came in last week with a tremendous attitude and joined us in ruining the lives of the Recess Rockstars.
League – we’ve heard you, we love you, we respect you. We’ll keep the GMOTs coming and the shit flying all over any dream we find in a 30 mile radius.
Tilnight, smooches y’all.