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Tuesday, September 16, 2014
Relax B*tches! - TX-Republic
Austin Kickball Community – your worst nightmare/largest life blessing has finally come to fruition. Relax is now playing 2 nights a week. We’ve completely taken over Austin WAKA and the rest of you have no chance of survival – Planet of the Apes style.
Lucky for you, we’re bringing the very best of Relax to Gillis on Wednesday nights – the team’s premier shit talkers, and hottest chicks. In fact, ALL the chicks. You heard it here first. We’re a nearly all girls team and we’re about to embarrass every other squad in this league. We tore down the hopes and dreams of Sir-Kicks-A-Lot last week, shout out to my coworker JL and the best league rep I’ve experienced thus far, Mike Harris!! Mike’s a sweet guy. He asked our permission to throw fast to girls, and then proceeded to throw some of the slowest, most kickable pitches I’ve ever seen. Love you MH!!
We really want to make a good impression on this league, so for all of you who haven’t had the pleasure of knowing Relax yet, and for those of you who do… just hear this: We’re out here to have an amazing time. We’re probably going to beat you and it will be tough knowing you lost to all girls, but we’re very good and you just need to understand that. We’re also going to tear you down with our shit talk. But that’s really just because we’re funny and fun and deep down we want to love you. This is how we express it.
In final thought, we’re going to just go ahead and welcome ourselves to this league with open arms and open hearts. We love you all and can’t wait to destroy your hopes and dreams in good fun and glory. FBG$!!