Awful Waffles

Ok so there was this waffle whose name was John Smith McGee...(Im changing his name for his protection). Anyways, when John was real young he got caught up in an inderground syrup spiking gang that would put wayyyy too much sugar in the syrup thus causing diabetes to spike for thousands of americans. To make a long story short, he eventually got busted and he was REAL angry because he thought he was setup (dont they all)...because of this anger and he started lifting weights and participating in the prison football league (PFL) which, like the current NFL, had terrible refs due to their own lockout. He was so good even with the terrible refs that he got the nickname Awful Waffle as kind of an "inside" joke. He later died in a horrible waffle iron incident.


So in his honor, on gridiron glory day, we dress as refs and make bad calls, we wear eye black like John Smith Mcgee, and we all drink too much syrup...

Get Censored, Kick Away

It was mean. It was rude. It was down right contemptible. But We’re Good At Flip Cup showed their true colors, and in a very un-sportsman like manner decided to beat us while we were still grieving for our most untimely name change. Get Drunk, Kick Away will never ride again, and while we were spilling some for our dead team they boosted a few flies and put up their only runs of the night. Stephen “Cleats Up” Moose-Hurd in his return after a few seasons out picked up exactly where he left off taking out an otherwise innocent female second basemen. Eric “What’s A Depth Chart” Ormsby decided that rotations are for suckers and ran about the field flailing wildly whenever he felt like it. Alex “Live Champion” Mitrowski not only got on base, but proceeded to run the bases like he had seen a baseball game at some point in his life. Week two will be a much different showing as in week one some of us our newer teammates (or maybe the Captain that made it) did not entirely realize that the weekly punch may or may not contain a pile of booze in it, while others are being rehabilitated into a fun offense of kicking rather than bunting. LET’S GET DRUNK CENSORED!

TL:DR

Walk of Shame

What a way to open the season, eh? With a full team, from what we saw, and no significant injuries to report, Relax got pummeled at the feet of the Walks 30 hits (kicks?) last week. This is Relax's first regular season loss in....we'll say 10 seasons? Who knows.

Anyways, Walks are in first place and that's all that's really important. The first inning got off to a bad start for the new champs as they allowed a run to its inferior competition before answering with one of their own in the bottom half. After that, it was pretty much the easiest victory the Walks have ever had. Every player on the team contributed with runs kicked in, blasting Relax's vaunted pitcher, who we found out isn't very good. The victory was so complete, it included a strikeout of one of Relax's top kickers, who couldn't break through against You Know Who's return. Yep, the mystique is gone, folks. It's open season on Relax. Go nuts. There's a new sheriff in town, so prepare yourself for unbearable amounts of trash talk by Dre.

This week, we expect Erin to be pitching by around the third inning, so don't bother to come scout. It won't be pretty.

Until next time,

Relax and Be Our Bitch. It's really not that shameful.

P.S. If you thought life couldn't get any worse for Jay... Think again... Here is a snippet of a text conversation between him and Dre... (Relax needs extra t-shirts)

Pretty please? C'mon son!

#worstweekever

Relax and Let it Happen

Last week we lost to Walk of Shame in a hard fought game. We won't offer up any excuses. We're so good, and Walk of Shame is so bad, we should've been able to beat them with 5 regular starters sitting out with injury, with only 10 people (first game for two of them), and with multiple people playing out of position. We'll see them later in the season and at that point we'll make sure they never forget who the better team is. 

This week we play the Teabaggers. They'll be wanting to ride the momentum against us that the Walks got rolling. Come out to see if they can do it. Until then, Relax and Let it Happen. 

Relax and Let It Happen

There are a lot of questions facing us this season. I've been here the longest and know the most of anyone (even Jay), so I'd like to answer some FAQs.

1. Will Relax win another Championship?

You know how people say there are no stupid questions? This is the exception to the rule. 

2. Will the Teabaggers stop blaming all of their losses on the refs and everyone/everything else but themselves?

Probably not. Teabaggers, what are the chances that you guys are better than us and the only reason we beat you is because of the refs? I think it's pretty slim and so does the rest of the league. So quit bitching. It is sad. You guys are a second-tier team and it's time to accept that. Your glory days are over. 

3. Will Joey, the king of douches, be able to last a whole season playing with Candy Van, the kings and queens of ... being weird?

I'll answer this question by setting up a scene that I think will play out:

Candy Van does one of their silly/cute cheers that they like to do. They try to get Joey to do it. 

Joey: I'm not doing that stupid cheer you bunch of gays! Get away from me you nerds!!

Cute Val: Please, Joey!

Joey: No, bitch!!

4. Will Dre get to the championship again?

No. 

I have no idea who we play tonight. Come out and watch us beat them. Until then, Relax and Let it Happen.

Welcome to the GMOT!

The Ghost Man on Third blog is a player-contributed blog meant as a vessel for you to share pictures of the awesome stuff you did at kickball, your sweet theme night costumes, bar shenanigans, smack talk about the team you're playing this week, claims of greatness, and absolutely anything else that you might like the rest of the league to see. To send in a post, email waka.gmot@gmail.com anytime between Friday and Wednesday, and I'll post everything in the inbox on Thursday morning. Teams who post all ten weeks of the regular season will get a round of free shots on WAKA at the end of season party!

A few ground rules:

• No hate speech. This means attacking someone on the basis of their gender, ethnicity, religion, sexual orientation, or anything else along those lines.
• No nudity. People usually read this blog on Thursday while they're killing time at work wishing they were playing kickball instead. Keep it SFW!
• No excessively harsh language/cursing. It's ok to drop a bomb here and there, we're all adults, but that also means we don't just call each other names. I'll let Coach McGurk explain the intricacies of cursing effectively:

P.S. Try and find a metaphor like the horse or the tree rather than abusing our volunteer referees.