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Friday, April 5, 2013

Tight and Bright

Congratulations, Jay Russell! You are officially the Dbag of the Week after your performance against Tight and Bright. Before continuing, I want to say congrats to Relax on their win. They fought back, came up with several clutch plays, and earned the victory. Ninety percent of the team was pleasant and fun to play against, with the glaring exception of their defacto captain.

Those of you who know Jay know that he is no stranger to douche land. Unfortunately, in last week's game against Tight and Bright, he took his usual antics to the next level. In a game that was between the twelve(?) time Capital champions and a Live team, Jay decided to pitch hard to the TnB girls. One word: classy! When one of our players asked him why he was pitching that way to our girls, his response was, "This is Capital, asshole." This is Capital? Jay, did you pitch that way to the girls in the other seven games you played this season? How about the rest of Capital? Are all the teams pitching that way to girls? We all know the answer is no, so Jay, don't scream "Welcome to Capital!" Instead, just scream the truth: "I'm a Douche!"

Jay has problem with abusive language. People that have played against him know it. Those that have reffed his games know it. His current and former teammates know it. I know this! But, Jay managed to reach new lows last Thursday. Since when is it okay to call a girl on another team (or your own team or that is spectating) a bitch? Not only is it not okay on the kickball field, it's not okay in life! Screaming "shut up, you stupid bitch" to a girl on a kickball field definitely qualifies you for Dbag of the Week, and beyond that qualifies you for being an asshole in life.

As the gods would have it, Jay scored the winning run in the bottom of the 5th inning. Did he run to celebrate with his teammates? Of course not. He jumped on the plate and screamed "Suck it, Bitches!" It was a fitting end to the game. In the Relax pre-game huddle, Jay apparently said something to the effect of, "Let's go out there and make them miserable. Let's make sure they hate this game." Congratulations! MISSION. ACCOMPLISHED. We still had fun playing kickball, we still went to the bar and partied afterwards, but playing against Relax was not fun and parts of it were utterly miserable. Not because we lost, not because we made mistakes, but because one person decided he needed to be a jackass. So congratulations, Mr. Russell. You are officially the Douche Bag of the Week!


  1. Actually the, "shut up, you stupid bitch," was said to me, his girlfriend. And that is our S&M... so don't hate the PDA! :)

  2. Lol, funny. And funnier response.