Cody/Artie: No problem, it’s our pleasure. We are great admirers of your publication.
Time Magazine: So how does it feel now that you’re nationally famous for your amazing Independence Day photo?
Cody/Artie: I’d say it’s business as usual. You know, that’s nowhere near our best work. In fact, it may be the least impressive thing we’ve ever worn. Or pose we’ve ever done, for that matter.
Time Magazine: I think you’re being a little modest. You did, after all, make it on the front page of the national WAKA website. That’s no small feat.
Cody/Artie: Yeah we thought that was great. It was a big honor to be posted next to the group picture of the team with two American flag leis.
Time Magazine: That was a great picture.
Cody/Artie: And don’t forget the photo of the team with two American flag shorts and other various trinkets.
Time Magazine: Incredible.
Cody/Artie: Yeah I know, right. The greatest country on Earth has granted us the social and economic freedom to play drunken kickball and spend our disposable income on booze and costumes. And you knock it out of the park and buy not one, but two American flag items AND small accessories to boot?! It’s difficult to compete these days.
Time Magazine: I know. Many other teams just saw how insurmountable the competition was and didn’t do anything. They saw the e-mails and thought ‘there’s nothing we can do so let’s just wear our regular shirts and pretend like e-mails don’t get distributed. Also America sucks.'
Cody/Artie: I don’t think they hate America. They just hate fun. And expression of said fun.
Time Magazine: Speaking of fun, I heard you’ve enjoyed some stardom since your hoist to fame, so to speak.
Cody/Artie: We both quit our jobs. We went on tour doing that pose in the costumes.
Time Magazine: And how is that going?
Cody/Artie: Not well. Apparently there isn’t a market for it.
Time Magazine: Surely you make some money taking pictures for people.
Cody/Artie: We were supposed to offer photos? Damnit.
Time Magazine: You were just doing that pose and expecting people to give you money?
Cody/Artie: Um, no.
Time Magazine: How have you been surviving without jobs?
Cody/Artie: We give out hand jobs at city parks.
Time Magazine: How much do you charge for those?
Cody/Artie: We’re supposed to charge money? Double damnit!
Time Magazine: You clearly have no business sense.
Cody/Artie: Do you have any money for a hand job?
Time Magazine: No.