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Thursday, July 31, 2014

PurpleSaurus Rex - TX Live

Rainouts are the WORST. Looking at today's forecast and seeing more potential 'scattered thunderstorms' (the same forecast we've had the last couple of times that we got goddamn monsoons on Thursday nights), I can't help but remember the feeling of crushing disappointment I've gotten everytime that I've stood out on Gillis Park half an hour before games are supposed to start, WILLING the rain to stop, and it just doesn't work.


I start with stoic patience, the belief that it's gonna stop, we're not gonna get rained out.


This in turn becomes anger. How DARE this rain fall!?



But ultimately reality sets in, and I become overwhelmed with sadness.


Leading to resignation and the complete death of my spirit.




Then again, it's only a 40% chance today. Maybe it won't rain! My reaction would be a bit different if presented with actual kickball games tonight.




CANDY VAN - TX Live

Let's keep this GMOT simple, shall we?

Babe Truth:

I DRINK IT UP.


Purplesaurus:

EAT A DICK.


BOOYA.

Thursday, July 24, 2014

P.E. Credit - TX Republic

We participated like champions last night, coming up with the W in the bar games


As well as a W in our Red vs Blue matchup with SKEET SKEET
Artist's rendition.
Now that the semester is over, we just need Tom to sign off on this sheet to give us our grade. From what he tells me, you gotta give him a BJ to get an A+, a handie only gets you an A. 

CANDY VAN - TX Live

This is how I felt about the Purple off being rained out last week:


This is how I feel about a 6:30 game:


This is how I feel about the weather this morning:


This is how I feel about the theme (even though it's exactly *5* months until Christmas, STEPHEN):


This is how Stephen feels about basic math:


This is just my life view in general:


This too:


LOVE,
CANDY VAN

Snappin' Da Base - TX Republic

This first part goes out to you, Tom. Yes, YOU. Mister “8 to 1”… Mister “Heat so Weak”… Mister “They don’t stand a chance”. 8-1? Eight to ONE??? You know what I say to you, sir?

That’s what.

“Wait a minute,” you say. “So was it a close game?” Uhhhh, HELL YES. I said last week that every game we play against Hannah can be nail bitingly epic, and this week was no different. No less than three or four times Hannah had players either rounding third base or just a few steps from home plate. It was good defense - and some fantastic throws – that kept this from being the 8-1 game predicted, or at least a tie game.

For the second time this season, we’re going up against SMK. We’ve been going strong lately, and we plan on keeping our momentum going this week and into the start of playoffs! There won’t be a repeat of Game 1!

Thursday, July 17, 2014

CANDY VAN - TX Live

From days of long ago, from uncharted regions of the universe, comes a legend. The legend of Candy Van: Purpliest of the Purple. A mighty team, loved by good, feared by evil.

As Candy Van's legend grew, envy spread across the league. In Stephen's loins, a new purple team was conceived: Purplesaurus Rex. Alliances shifted and players swapped sides, but the goal to spread purple love throughout the league bonded these teams. Together with Candy Van, they strived to spread purple love throughout the universe until a new horrible menace (jealousy of Candy Van's purple superiority) threatened the alliance. After a season in a different league, it was clear what TX Live was missing.

Candy Van was needed once more.

This is the story of the superforce of purple creepers, specially trained and sent by Paul Reubens to bring back Candy Van: Purpliest of the Purple.

IT'S A PURPLE OFF.

Anonymous - TX Live

Hey guys, let's do a pyramid picture! Busted, Pitches be Trippin'.

video

Snappin' Da Base - TX Republic

OK OK…I know I say this every week, but this time it’s doubly-true. Kick James and Faceballs were a TON of fun to play with. It was a great time all around, and both teams had some really awesome players.


 There’s definitely some hidden talent on Kick James and Faceballs, and it's just a few games away from emerging and becoming some team’s nightmare. This week, we’ll be going against Hannah Montana in a super mega, balls-to-da-wall Game of the Week! Our two teams been going at each other for a while now, and each game has been fantastic. I see no reason why this won’t continue this season. For visual reference on potential game epicness, please see below:


 We’ll be looking to keep our mojo going and notch another win in our belt. See you on the field Hannah!

Wednesday, July 9, 2014

CANDY VAN - TX Live

Well, we got rained out last week. BUMMER. Most likely the sky crying like a baby because its favorite OG CVers, OMGAMB and OMGJOZ are leaving this fair city to motorboat the mountains of Colorado. I can't blame them, though, because Colorado has some nice scenery (and I'm not just talking about the landscape). I'm guessing they're mostly moving there so they can legally party with Snoop Dogg/Lion. THEY HAVE RECREATIONAL MARIJUANA STORES NOW, GUYS.

This post is obviously all about those weirdos, 'cause we're really going to miss them.

JOZTRON: DEFENDER OF THE UNIVERSE

Look at these cuties singing Weezer to each other.

SAY IT AIN'T SOOOOOO.

Amber looks great in this photo, but who's that with her in the mustache?

MUSTACHE MUSTACHE MUSTACHE

Luckily, we won a 'ship before they moved away. It'll definitely be hard to do it again without these cuties.

GET IN

First we lost Foxy to Dallas, now we're losing Joz to Colorado, which means the percentage of exposed thigh on the team will be at an all-time low.

'cause AMERICA.

We'll miss you guys. Have fun in Colorado and don't be surprised when all of us show up at your house for snuggle time with Charlotte.

gross

LOVE YOU GUYS.

Snappin' Da Base - TX Republic

Ouch. Once again, it seems like Snappin’ da Base may have bitten off a bit more than we could chew in a 2-5 loss to P.E. Credit last week. It hurt, but it could have hurt a lot worse…..Just ask Brazil. BOOM!

 (…..too soon?)

We started off at a good clip, and things seemed to be going our way. But then everything started to go wrong at exactly the right time.


And I give credit where credit is due. P.E. Credit is an awesome team. It took a little time to get ourselves together, and then we began to rebound, making some great plays and keeping the fight going until the end of the game.

The highlight of the game? A rather bizarre chicken fight at the pitcher’s mound. I can’t exactly remember what started it, or who initiated it. All I know is that it began with a beer can flying through the air…and ended with two grown men wrestling on the ground.


Yeah, it was pretty much like that. This week we have a double-header, going up against Kick James first and then topping off the night with a bout with Faceballs. We’re hungry for some wins and we’ll be aiming to get them this week!

Wednesday, July 2, 2014

Tuesday, July 1, 2014

Week 5

This made the rounds back in April, but in case you missed it, this kickball team email that Deadspin posted will forever give significance to Week 5!

Good morning gentlemen,
I'm assuming that when this is read, you'll all be waking up, hence the greeting.
I hope we all had a good time tonight. I certainly did. We have a very talented team. We're most likely going to win out the season, and if not, we'll buck up and win the tournament at the end of the season. We're really that good.
But it's time that I introduce you all to a very important rule, which if we don't follow will cause us the season. It's called the five-week rule.
You'll notice that only the men of [team name] are receiving this email. It's because this rule only applies to you. I know, it's sexist. It's not fair. But it's the way it is.
Winning on the kickball field is based on three things. How well the men play, how well the women play, and if the women show up. Literally, leagues are won and lost on whether or not enough women show up towards the end of the season. Everyone thinks kickball is a great game, they all want to play, then towards the end of the season, attendance tapers off, and you're begging and pleading for people to show up to fill out the team, and it doesn't happen, and you forfeit, and you're pissed, and it sucks. SUCKS.
The main reason for this, is screwing. No joke, you bang some chick, she's ashamed, maybe you sucked at it (none of us, obviously) and she doesn't want to see you, therefore she doesn't show up again.
So, this rule has been created, not to hinder us, but to help the team. Think of it as an extended challenge. The slow roll. The long con.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO FUCK ANYONE ON THE TEAM UNTIL AFTER WEEK FIVE.
Is that clear enough? I can say it again if necessary, but I think it was pretty clear.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO FUCK ANYONE ON THE TEAM UNTIL AFTER WEEK FIVE.
There, I said it again anyway.
Failure to adhere to this rule will result in your exclusion from the lineup, public hatred and disdain, death, dismemberment, ball-kicking (not kickballs), and, on the good side, getting laid. I don't think the latter is worth the former.
Please be a team player, wait a few weeks. If you're that good, it won't matter anyway. Don't break up the team because of your dick.
Thanks,
-H