CANDY VAN

Guys. I don't want to make this about me, but I'm going to anyway (jokes, I wanted to make it about me). It's been 4 years since I stepped foot on the luscious greens of Gillis Park to join my first ever TX Live team, 40 Bounces to Freedom. Through an interesting series of events, I ended up forming the weirdest team with the weirdest person I know, the one and only Tom Hallock.

Why this trip down memory lane? Well, it's my last season with WAKA. I'm not telling you this to feel sorry for me; I'm telling you this for only one reason. Consider this your warning, league: I'm going down in a blaze of glory and I'm taking you all with me. And I mean that in the drunkest way possible.

If I hate every Friday for the rest of the season, so will you. When I go to the dark corners of a weekly brown out, you'll be by my side. When I go to Ego's to sing Blaze of Glory by Bon Jovi, you'll be there singing along proudly. When I dive into the Spotify search for other songs called Blaze of Glory, you will all suffer with me (thanks, dude from Black Flag).

Maybe we've only won two games this season. Maybe our Fireball consumption has been a higher priority for us than actually winning games. Maybe the loss of Foxy took a serious emotional, physical, and metaphysical toll on our game. Maybe you bite me.

Take heed, league mates: I am Valerie of Candy Van and I am burdened with glorious purpose! And that purpose is to push all of you to black out with me for the rest of the season.

Consider this my official theme song for the rest of the season/my life in general:

LOVE,
V.A.G. of C.V.